Okay each of us have different writing styles. That is what make
each poem so special.
For your first attmpt, it is actually very good. You know what you
want, and how to go about expressing it.
You are clearly in love with this girl. 
Below is how I would write the poem based on my writing
style.
Smile of hers,
Like candies melting in her mouth.
Fill the air
With the sense of sweetness.
Smile of hers,
Like newborn babies.
Fill the air
With the feel of innocence.
Smile of hers,
Like lights in darkness.
Fill the air
With the gift of warmth.
Smile of hers,
So pure and magical.
Leave an imprint
Deep down my heart.
Keep up the good work.
