while i was playing games yesterday i had this realisation of
the world i am in. what happened was that for a moment i thought
abt my future,, where i want to go after NS,which uni (if
possible),what course, what job i want to have, etc.
so detailed were these thoughts that i even considered all the way
to when i face problems understanding lessons in Uni, who do i
approach to ask and what if i dont do well in the exams there. all
the while during this sem break, i have been busy over my fyp and
thought only abt deadlines for this and that and suddenly i am
considering things so far into the future. it freaked me out, i
even broke out in cold sweat and my heart was beating rapidly.
probably because this is i am thinking for myself where i wanna go
in life because all the while my dad has been treating me like a
puppet, from entering poly and this course it was all his idea and
when i resisted, he flared up. he even wanted to dictate where i
shld go for the next 20years after NS.
nvr have i felt this lost because i start to realise i dont have a
clear idea of how to get to a goal like finding a uni that offers
the course i want, what are the min. qualifications needed to find
the job i want, finding a place to stay(overseas) etc and of
course, coping with uni life.
at the same time i also have to worry abt loads of stuff, ranging
from proj, poor academic results, deadlines etc.
sorry if all these are very mixed up, my mind's in a mix now..