How much should one compromise?

icyprincess SG

Can someone tell me if it is alright to compromise your life principles at times so that you can be with someone? Cos if not, you will be deemed as too idealitic and too stubborn...and in the end, you have your identity intact but you will also be alone.

so which one is your choice?

i.c.y

LeftBallBigger SG

my opinion..

If theres true compatibility in the relantionship

there woudnt be a need to compromise all that much

just a little understanding and a little compromise will suffice

no need to surrender your principals

in short: surrendering your principals signals imcompatibility so got to question the relantionship..

icyprincess SG

hmm...now I got something else to think abt Cool

it is a thought-provoking answer btw Smile

i.c.y

bratpig SG

ideally, all of us should end up with someone who can accept us as it is. no point compromising n end up unhappy. this is because u will bear a grudge against that person who tries to change u. then both of u will quarrel ~~-> then breakup -~~-> then u will still be alone right.

icyprincess SG

but when they accept you as it is, isn't that compromise also? but on their part?

i.c.y

bratpig SG

better they compromise than me...haha...kidding

if they dont love u right, then why are they with you in the first place?

nukewatch SG

Your life principles shape you, they are not just something you own, but it is a part of you. If that someone cannot embrace that part of you, he cannot embrace the whole of you. Likewise, if that part of you cannot embrace him, you cannot embrace him with the whole of youself.

icyprincess SG

erm, there are a lot of other reasons...

one of the usual ones is sex (tho dat is not for my case). Other times, it is for companionship, so that both of you wun be lonely, etc.

For me, love will always be the reason why I want to get together with someone...somehow, now people think I am being too ideal when I said this...

i.c.y

icyprincess SG

true...but isn't relationship supposed to be about compromise? Well, in the ideal world, my loved one will love me for the person I am, but reality is often far from ideal. In reality, we are all flawed...so how far are you willing to go to embrace those flaws just because you love that person?Especially if those flaws conflict with your principles...

i.c.y

bratpig SG

I guess different people have different perception on how much to compromise. Really depends on how much are you willing to give up to be with the significant other(s).

Joshua1975 SG

Life principles apply when alone or single. When goes into a r/s it family principles that apply even when you are not married. (NVM about this as no one really understand what i am talking in here anyway)

In a r/s compromise come/with a understanding a must. Never compromise without knowing what it is in the 1st palce.

Talk, Spell it out to each other and come to a point where both can agreed on. If one is too submissive and compromise with everything, how long can he or she last, stay happy etc.

icyprincess SG

I have tried dat, but in the end we came to a point when we both accepted that we are both just too stubborn to compromise...so when it comes to that, there is only way out...and I decided to be the one to walk away first.

i.c.y

Joshua1975 SG

oh that's too bad...

love yourself in order so you can GIVE love.

icyprincess SG

I think I was giving love, it is just that he doesn't appreciate it..and he doesn't feel as strongly abt me.

i.c.y

nukewatch SG

It depends on whether your principles are a part of you or are they rules that you follow in the absence of a stronger conviction.

people say that relationships are about compromises, but i rather think of them as sacrifices. You sacrifice your habits, your comfort, even your personal amibitions. But principles, that's another ball game.

Reality is far from ideal. But whatever ideals that are not eroded by realities will shape them in time to come.

icyprincess SG

How much should you sacrifice until one day you realize you have become another person altogether?

i.c.y

sbst275 SG

Nope... Latter option

icyprincess SG

hehe...me oso. So now I am alone.

i.c.y

nukewatch SG

Precisiely. If you sacrifice what is part of you, you become another person. That will happen if you give up your principles, for better or for worse.

sbst275 SG

Just like if he/she is not committed, no point staying... Short term pain better than long term pain...