Yea, I guess this is it.
He has made his point clear enough.
One of our mutual frens teased us about being together yesterday
during a gathering. And I got this crazy idea that maybe then as a
good time to kinda confess my feelings to him. And mebbe because I
miss him too much too co si haven't seen him for a while.
So yea, I kinda blurted it out.
At first, he looked shocked. He blinked his eyes. I waited for his
response. He gave me none.
He just walked away.
And that..., was the most painful thing that has ever happened to
me.
I went back and patiently waited for him to message me, maybe I was
expecting him to give me an explanation as to why he walked away.
Is it because he felt like I have betrayed his trust, because he
has treated me as a close fren all along and didn't expect me to
harbor any other kinda feelings towards him? But could I help
myself? I din want to fall for him either, I know he has his heart
with someone else. But anyway, I did...
Then I went for another outing and he was there as well. I had felt
like I could not go anymore since I won't have the courage to face
him, but I had promised one of my other friends that I would go. So
I went and the whole trip was quite disastrous. I tried to find a
place where I can talk to him and maybe even apologize. I don't
know why I feel like I need to say that I am sorry but that's the
way he made me feel with his reaction yesterday.
The whole trip he was checking out pretty girls and he even flirted
with one of them. He ignored me pretty much for the rest of the
trip. I tried to smile at him and talk to him but he only gave me
uninterested, one-word answer. Lost were the days when we could
chat about anything under the sun and still be able to
laugh...
Sumhow, now I really miss those days. I wish I can turn back time
and never had the confession yesterday. I wish that I can still be
his close friend. I miss seeing him smile at me and I miss hearing
his laughter.
I never know falling for someone can make me feel so painful. But
do I even have a choice in this?
i.c.y
