TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships.
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of
trust
leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity
and
enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone
call.
She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.
She
repeated, "PUB."
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line,
she
Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number
from my
Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple
if the
telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of
"PUB".
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NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a
successful
marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The
father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for
her
shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind
that
because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a
better
husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people
are
afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a
mistake,
he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger
at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when
we
point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are
pointing
at ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU,
and
requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a
suitable
one."
The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good
looking,
polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and
dancing.
Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure
hour, if I
don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion
for
conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you
need
television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between
a
blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see
the
faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging
of
the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream
of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement
of
love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a
bed of
roses.
The nightmare begins.
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NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower
another,
or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will
conquer
all and their spouses will change the bad habits after
marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which
carries
the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a
river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing
the
spouse character will cause disappointment and
unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our
expectations..
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RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech
will
either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break
off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each
other,
we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything
without
considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction
site. A
worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily!
Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way
home,
her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.
Otherwise you
will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You
should
appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the
millionaire and
not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship.
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PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could
be
another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On
the
way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride
on the
donkey?"
Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the
donkey.
He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented,
"The
husband is the head of family.
How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on
foot?"
Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on
the
donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How
can
the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no
gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the
donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how
can
you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to
you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from
the
donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only
choice
left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and
struggled.
They lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn
you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the
future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience
is
clear..
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BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States.
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his
puzzlement,
his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny
paint of
the truck.
The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little
boy's
hands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the
hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones,
he
finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's
hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs,
he
innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he
asked,
"but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this
story the
next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge.
Think
first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can
be
repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.
Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person
and
the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than
revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the
actions
we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive &
forget.
Love one and all.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.