TWENTY IMPORTANT POINTS ON PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPLEMENTARIES IN
MARRIAGE
1. In marriage, for man, woman is a need, and for woman, man is
security.
2. A man is attracted to a woman when the woman makes him to feel
masculine; similarly a woman is attracted to a man when the mans
presence makes her feel feminine.
3. Attraction for utilisation is the motto of womanhood, and
impress to achieve is the goal of manhood.
4. Man expects physiological and psychological care with personal
attention from his woman, whereas woman expects emotional and
psychological care from her man to possess him for protection and
security.
5. Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed, and women
are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
6. For man, first physiological needs are to be satisfied in sex,
then only he turns to emotional needs; whereas for women, first her
emotional needs are to be satisfied, then only she can turn to her
physiological needs: that means man feels his own feminine after
his males is satiated, similarly woman feels her own masculine
after her females is satiated.
7. In any inter-personal interaction, other than verbal, in
marriage, he is active but she is receptive; she being fulfilled,
he is fulfilling.
8. Even in the interpersonal relationship in marriage, mans
priority is to achieve his goal, whereas womans priority is the
importance of their relationship.
9. The six different kinds of emotional support for love in
marriage are: -
(i) She needs caring, he needs trust.
(ii) She needs understanding, he needs acceptance.
(iii) She needs respect, he needs appreciation.
(iv) She needs devotion, he needs admiration.
(v) She needs validation, he needs approval.
(vi) She needs reassurance, he needs encouragement.
10. In any inter-verbal interaction between couple, if wife is
overwhelmed husband tries to advice with solutions, or mistakenly
tries to defend himself; so also in the pensive mood of husband the
wife tries to improve him.
11. Womans communication is for sharing, but mans is for
solving.
12. Womans thinking is expanding but mans is purpose-oriented,
similarly their talking also prevails.
13. A womans attitude is empathetic, whereas a mans is
self-oriented.
14. (a) In a relationship, woman expands to serve the needs of
others, whereas man contracts to build focusing and
self-absorption. Man has focused awareness and feminine has
open-awareness.
(b) In an irk-some position, because of open-awareness, women tend
to blame themselves first and due to focused awareness men to blame
others first.
15. In stress and tension: -
(a) Man needs solutions for which man goes to his cave and woman
likes to share in a non-focused way.
(b) Men increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become
increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. He feels better
by solving the problems and she feels better by talking about the
problems.
(c) A man needs time and space to find objective solutions, so he
becomes increasingly focused and withdrawn; whereas a woman needs
time and attention to find her subjective solution, hence she
becomes increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved.
16. When a man is upset, he wants to be alone; whereas, if a woman
is upset, she needs companionship and love.
17. In a serious situation, man thinks and processes lonely, tests
his outcomes outside, reassesses them on account of reactions and
arrives at the solution; whereas woman thinks and processes loudly
to tap her intuition.
18. In marriage, man wants the right to be free and expects to be
allowed for his own privacy; whereas woman wants the right to be
upset and expects to be understood.
19. Woman involves others for her decision-making, but man only
consults in his decision-making.
20. Men like rubber-bands suddenly pulls away, distances himself
and comes back on his own; whereas, a womans self-esteem, like
waves, rises and falls, and it hits bottom for emotional
house-cleaning.