Tears really can make you feel better!
At a community hospital in Chicago suburb, an eight-year-old girl
asks, "May I cry or should I be brave?" Its a question she poses
moments before being taken to surgery for a leg amputation.
We share conflicting feelings about crying. On the one hand,
shedding tears can show deep concern. On the other hand, might not
tears convey a lack of courage?
At one time or another, everybody cries. The Old Testament tells us
that King David wept on several occasions. And the New Testament
reports that Jesus cried when He learned his good friend Lazarus
had died. With great compassion, Christ also wept over the city of
Jerusalem and its many inhabitants.
And recent statistics show that were a lot like Jesus in this
respect: a majority of both me n and women say they cry. Yet there
is, perhaps, no other element of living that carries so much
confusion with it as the human tear.
Poets and novelists for years have known intuitively that crying is
somehow good for us. William Shakespeare, for example, wrote, "To
weep is to make less the dept of grief."
And poet Alfred Lord Tennyson once wrote about a woman who learned
her husband had been killed. "She must weep," the writer said, "or
she will die."
Scientists are beginning to confirm the accuracy of such
statements. Why is crying good for us? Tears, it seems, reduce
tensions, remove toxins, and increase the bodys ability to heal
itself. In short, scientists are concluding that people who cry
enjoy better health.
Here are a few more things scientists are discovering about people,
tears, and the benefits of crying.
Why do people often feel better after crying?
Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Colorado
Medical School, works primarily with people who are mourning loved
ones. "In my experience," he says, "I have observed changes in the
physical expressions following the expression of tears. Not only do
people feel better after crying, they also look better."
And according to Dr. William Frey, a biochemist and director of the
Dry Eye and Tear Research Center in Minneapolis, Minn., one reason
people might feel better after crying could be because they are
"removing, in their tears, chemicals that build up during emotional
stress." Freys research indicates that tears, along with other
bodily secretions like perspiration, rid the body of various toxins
and wastes.
As far back as 1957, it was known that emotional tears are
chemically different from tears that result from eye irritation.
Emotional tears contain more beta-endorphins, some of our bodies
natural pain relievers, and protein.
In addition, researchers also are discovering that people who cry
frequently enjoy better health overall. Margaret Crepeau, Ph.D.,
professor of nursing at Marquette University, believes healthy
people view tears positively, while people plagued with various
illnesses see them as unnecessary, even humiliating.
"I find," Crepeau says, "that well men and women cry more tears
more often than and women with ulcers or colitis."
Consequently, at Marquettes School of Nursing, students and
professionals are urged not to automatically provide tranquilizers
to weeping patients, but to let the tears do their own therapeutic
work. "Laughter and tears," Crepeau says, "are two inherently
natural medicines. We can reduce duress, let out negative feelings,
and recharge. They truly are the bodys own best resources."
How often and why do people cry?
Most people shed tears more often than we would think. Thanks to
William Frey, who had subjects keep "tear diaries" during a study
conducted at the Dry Eye and Tear Research Center, a pattern
emerges:
Sadness accounts for 49% of tears;
Happiness, 21%;
Anger, 10%
Sympathy, 7%
Anxiety 5%
Fear 4%
But even these statistics do not tell the whole story. Tears, it
seems, reflect our very humanity. One man, a driven and successful
executive, finds that he breaks into tears on the subway while
reading about the debilitating poverty of a homeless woman with
four children. One woman, a high-powered attorney in Chicago, weeps
whenever she hears a Mozart concerto.
What if you cant cry?
Since more and more research is giving credibility to the idea that
good health is strongly connected to the shedding of tears, those
who are unable to cry should try to get in touch with their deepest
emotions.
For some this may mean therapy. One woman, normally a noncrier who
grew up in a family where keeping a stiff upper lip was the rule,
found herself crying deeply almost every time she met with her
therapist. "There had been latent feelings bottled inside me for
years," she says. "After every teary session I felt better."
Most people, however, find the tears flowing when they read a
touching story or have thoughts of past sadness.
Should tears be controlled?
The simple answer is no. Very few people cry for the wrong reasons.
Consider the man who rushed his daughter to a local hospital after
she experienced a severe fall. Because tears were pouring down his
cheeks, the emergency room doctor ordered the young father to stop
crying.
Clearly, the doctor was wrong. Most people would do well to cry
more often, and scientists as well as therapists and doctors are
beginning to concur.
Can we cry too often?
There is, in fact, only one word of caution about crying. Says one
psychotherapist, "People who cry easily should feel glad theyre in
touch with their feelings. But if theyre crying a lot in response
to criticism, they should try to get some counseling. This kind of
crying is an alarm bell of a far deeper hurt; it could signify a
loss of self-esteem that is triggered whenever anyone says anything
negative."
Perhaps the best advice of all regarding tears comes from Charles
Dickens. In Oliver Twist, Mr. Bumble, the parish beadle, is a less
than sympathetic character. But hes got the right idea when he
declares that crying "opens the lungs, washes the countenance,
exercises the eyes, and softens the temper.
"So cry away"
