A River Without Banks Is Just A Swamp

JWorld SG

A River Without Banks Is Just A Swamp
Our Approach to Sex Education Is Creating a Swamp
Why Don't We Talk To Our Children?
Who Is Talking To Our Children?

Ready to talk about Sex Education? Are you happy with the Sex Education Status Quo? I can think of no more appropriate metaphor to describe the result of our collective approach to what often passes as "sex education" than "a river without banks is just a swamp".

Even the most urban city dweller can appreciate the beauty of a flowing creek or river. Environmentalists are quick to tell us, "protect the banks, protect the river."

Every plant, tree, bird, animal, insect, and human being that receives benefit from the flow of a river is immediately penalized when the banks are eroded, the flow is dissipated, and clear, clean life giving water becomes pools of stinking, stagnant, disease promoting, cesspools. It is a known fact: Water, left to its own devices, seeks the easiest, barrier free, low point as it's target. Yes indeed. This is a picture of our current approach to what passes as "sex education".

To continue with the application of the metaphor, let's just assume that the knowledge about sexual _expression as God intended it represents a river of life giving, life sustaining knowledge. Read the book of Genesis. God did not look at all of creation and say, "Everything I have created is good, except sexual relations between husband and wife and procreation."

Sex was and is God's idea.

It wasn't an idea created by science, educators, pornographers or "Pro-Choice" advocates. What happened? How did this wonderful aspect of our life and our true human vocation get hijacked? And Why?

I will tell you what happened! "We are asleep at the switch." The banks on this river of knowledge have been eroded, chipped away. Forget the idea of gentle, natural erosion. Those who benefit by turning the "river" into a "swamp" have used bulldozers. Someone should ask "Why?". Clue: Think there is any money in this message? Does "Sex Sell"? Who is selling this message? Who is buying? Why are we letting it happen? We have a whole generation of kids that have embraced this message that are "damaged goods".

We can no longer sit on our hands and watch!

Our approach, and "our" includes me, has been that of an ostrich hiding it's head in a hole and hoping against hope that everything will turn out all right. Well, guess what? It is not turning out alright. Time to take our heads out of the sand.

Stopping Abortion is not just about dealing with unwanted pregnancy.
It is also about prevention of unwanted pregnancy.

Here are a few observations:

1. Sexual activity among teens and pre-teens is, statistically, at historic highs.
2. Sexually Transmitted Diseases are epidemic.
3. n spite of Sex Education, teen pregnancy is not statistically diminished.

Is it any wonder when we have failed to teach what is true?

What pass as "Sex education" classes in most of our public schools are almost universally without any moral guidance or compass.

The classes are typically separating sexual activity from any thorough discussion of authentic human love, marriage, true responsibility, family and procreation.

The true dignity of the human sexuality and the human person is being replaced with a so called "enlightened" approach to sexual "_expression" and "techniques", a counterfeit . and all of this is taught under a guise of "taking responsibility" when the very behaviors promoted are irresponsible and dangerous.

No banks. Just a Swamp.

Do you know why we have a swamp? We have allowed the swamp to be created!

Let's start with Mom and Dad.

JWorld SG

....cont'd

We don't tell our kids "jack" about sex. Dad's don't talk to their sons. Mom's don't talk to their daughters. And you can be pretty sure, if we can't talk to our sons as men, we certainly are not going to talk to our daughters, and are moms going to talk to their sons? It is not happening. And because we won't talk, open lines of communication, about this most critical area, our children are going to satisfy their curiosity from other sources.

Some say "the Church" should do this job. With all due respect, it is my belief the church has done and is doing its job. I don't believe there is a absence of a clear message. I think there is an absence of implementation.

What does the Church teach?

1. In Catholic teaching, the family is a domestic church and parents are the first teachers of their children.
2. Parents, in addition to this role as the primary teachers, are the primary protectors of their children, both at home, and at school.
3 The Church does assist, but we do not abdicate our unique and irreplaceable role as parents to the Church, or to the public school system, or to some other institution. "If its to be, its up to me".

When you said "I do", and then said "I will" to having sexual relations with your spouse, and having a child, you also said "I am" the provider of "Banks" in this child.s life. You want a swamp? Ignore the necessity of "The Banks".

Why don't we talk about sex with our kids?

You would not believe the number of e-mails we have received from people as a result of the Babies Count On Me Campaign that tell us no one talked to them as children about sex, how babies are created, what is responsible behavior, God's view on sexual _expression, nothing. "NO BANKS"

So think about it. If we, who have Catholic faith cannot, or will not discuss this vital, critical, important area with our children, why are we the slightest bit surprised that our neighbors, who live their lives sometimes without the benefit of the moral compass provided by the teachings of the Church, either teach nothing, or in the alternative, teach that caution should accompany sexual _expression and leave it at that?

We don't talk about sex with our kids for three reasons, among others:

1. We often do what was done with us. If our parents were lacking in this regard, we repeat the same action. We hope our kids turn out fine. Ostrich!

2. We have not spent the time building talking relationships with our children so that when it comes time to explore these issues, the history of feeling "safe" to discuss their questions and natural curiosities does not exist. Many pre-teens do not even believe their parents have sex, or that when their parents were young they ever had sexual desire, or wanted to look at naked pictures, or talked about sex with their friends. "Not their parents. Gross! No way!"

3 We have not equipped ourselves to have the conversation. We have not invested the time, ahead of the fact, to prepare ourselves to deliver moral, spiritual and practical information and guidance. Do we ourselves know what the Church teaches in this vital area? Do we believe it is true? Can we answer our own children's questions? Think about it. You can be pretty sure that any child is eventually going to have questions in their mind about sex. Are you ready when the time comes? Or do you freak out thinking about having to answer these questions. "Good question. Ask your mom." Or "let's talk later".

It is time to re-create some the "BANKS" in the lives of our young people. We will not get a different result by doing the same things over and over again that have not or will not work. Trying harder at approaches that have not worked is lunacy.

We propose that there are three critically important necessities to change the result of this swamp we have, to a river we desire:

1. Tools in the hands of Parents: We must put tools in the hands of parents that equip the parents to build a dialogue with their children about human sexuality that has as it foundation the truths taught by the Catholic Church about the plan of God in creating us as sexual beings. Contrary to what some may think, the Catholic Church is not "against" sex. Quite to the contrary, the Church calls men and women to experience the true dignity and beauty of their identity as sexual beings within the vocation to true love, including conjugal love and sexuality, within marriage. Do we teach this? What we teach our children must be technically and medically correct, but it must proceed from a much deeper place. We must impart to them the deeper meaning of sexual activity and help place within them a moral compass. It is much easier to prevent erosion than rebuild banks after a swamp is created.

2. Our ideology must be represented in the Public and Private Education Venue. We must promote the creation and utilization of a truly good SEX ED curriculum for application within the Public and Private School system that provides technically accurate information that is delivered within the framework of a moral foundation and responsible living. Our critics are right. We complain about their approach, but we have been absent from the marketplace. It is possible to prepare a sex education curriculum that properly involves parents, communicates moral and medical information that is accurate - and does not violate the so called "separation of Church and State." Moral values serve the common good. It can be done. It must be done. It is time to go to Public School Board Meetings with Petitions and Tools.

3. Young Adults Everywhere Must Hear From Us. We must be proactive in our communities delivering this same message to young adults that have grown up without the benefit of a parent's counsel or a proper morally grounded sex education program because we didn't deliver the goods in the past. There are hundreds of college and university settings as well as non-institutional settings that could be, and must be outlets for a curriculum that provides a values foundation as well as technically correct information. To be absent from this marketplace assures more of the same current social results. In a word, a swamp.

While it is true that you cannot turn a stagnant swamp back into a river overnight, it is also true that you start by restoring "The Banks". We hope you will be inspired to stand with Your Catholic Voice Foundation as we attempt to deal with Abortion and its' many contributory causes.