11 Benefits of
Loving-Friendliness Meditation
Bhante Henepola
Gunaratana MAR 14, 2017 tricycle
Theravadan Buddhist monk Bhante Gunaratana
outlines the ways meditation can benefit our mind and our body—and
even our complexion.
We don’t need an ideal society or a perfect
world to practice loving-friendliness. We aren’t practicing to save
the world or make it perfect. We practice for ourselves, for our
own peace and well-being. Any effects beyond that are byproducts.
If the focus is outside ourselves, we will never succeed. But
fortunately, our own well-being is intimately bound up with the
well-being of others; so truly practicing metta
(loving-friendliness) for our own benefit does benefit
others.
In the Discourse on the Benefits of
Loving-Friendliness (Metta Nisamsa Sutta), the Buddha lists 11
benefits derived from practicing metta—and I might add that many of
these benefits are being confirmed by contemporary scientific
research!
Here is the Buddha’s list:
1. You sleep well.
When you go to bed feeling loving-friendliness
toward yourself and others, you will be relaxed and will sleep
peacefully.
2. You wake up feeling
well.
When you get a good night’s sleep, you wake up
feeling rested and relaxed. With a relaxed mind and body, you are
able to connect with family, friends, relatives, neighbors, and
even strangers in a genuine and centered way. You feel fresh,
uplifted, and joyful all day.
3. You’re not likely to have
nightmares.
When you practice metta, you become solid
enough to face whatever arises. And in fact, the Buddha said it’s
unlikely you’ll have nightmares when you practice metta.
4. Your body relaxes and your face is
joyful.
Your body reflects your mind. When you feel
love for all beings, it shows on your face. Seeing your honest,
relaxed face, others will gravitate toward you and enjoy being
around you.
5. Even animals and celestial beings feel
drawn to you.
When you practice metta, your mind generates a
peaceful field around you. Children especially are tuned in to this
energy—and non-humans feel it too!
One day I was walking my dog, Brown, and a
couple came toward us. The woman kneeled down to Brown’s level and
talked to him.
He wagged his tail and became affectionate
with her. The man was frightened, and Brown growled at
him.
6. Spirits protect you.
There are times we feel guided and protected
by beings beyond our sight. Recognizing this as a kind of grace is
a source of serenity. Whether it’s literally true or there is some
other energy that gives us this sense of guidance and protection,
the Buddha included this among the benefits of practicing
metta.
7. Fire, poisons, and weapons will not harm
you.
When we read stories of old, many of the
elements are symbolic or mythic. The Buddha shared tales of adepts
who practiced metta and were protected from fire, poisons, and
weapons. He explained that greed, hatred, and delusion are the
fires, the poisons, and the weapons against which metta protects
us.
In the Fire Sermon (Aditta Pariyaya Sutta),
the Buddha said that poison is of three kinds—greed, hatred, and
delusion. These weapons, like daggers, he said, can cut your peace
into pieces. In the Numerical Discourses of the Buddha, the Buddha
described bodily, verbal, and mental weapons. In the Udana, he
said, “They quarrel, squabble, and argue with each other, stabbing
each other with verbal daggers: ‘This is dharma. That is not.’” In
the Dhammapada, the Buddha said, “There is no fire like greed, no
misfortune like hatred, no suffering like delusion, and no greater
happiness than peace.”
In a well-known story about the power of
metta, Uttara, a devoted follower of the Buddha, was bereft. She
had been given in marriage to a man who did not have high regard
for the Buddha, and so she hadn’t seen the Buddha or his disciples
for two and a half months. She was feeling forlorn, and her father
suggested she hire a courtesan to serve her husband while she
joined the Buddha and his community for the final two weeks of
their rainy-season retreat. Uttara agreed and was able to serve the
Buddha and his disciples as a cook and attend his
teachings.
One day as he was looking out the window of
his mansion, Uttara’s husband saw her working in the retreat
kitchen wearing a stained apron and thought it pathetic she was
attending the retreat rather than indulging in the luxuries of life
with him. Noticing his disdain for his wife, Sirima, the courtesan,
began plotting to harm Uttara so she herself could become the man’s
wife. Sirima boiled some ghee and left the house to splash it on
Uttara.
When Uttara saw the courtesan coming to harm
her, she meditated on loving-friendliness and remained completely
at peace.
At the same time, Uttara’s maidservants also
saw this foul deed unfolding and ran to stop Sirima. The maids
tackled Sirima and began to pummel her but Uttara intervened to
save her attacker.
After that, Uttara bathed Sirima in warm water
and massaged her body with herbs and oil to soothe her wounds.
Sirima fell to the ground and begged Uttara’s forgiveness. Uttara
said she would forgive Sirima if the Buddha advised it.
The next day, Sirima asked the Buddha to
forgive what she had tried to do. The Buddha asked Uttara how she
felt as Sirima was pouring boiling ghee on her, and Uttara
responded, “I was grateful to Sirima for serving my husband so I
could spend two weeks with the noble community. I had no ill will
toward her, only loving-friendliness.” The Buddha commended her,
“Well done, Uttara. By not bearing ill will, you were able to
conquer the one who abuses you. By being generous, you conquered
the one who is stingy. By speaking the truth, you conquered one who
lies.” Upon the advice of the Buddha, Uttara forgave Sirima, and
Sirima took refuge in the Buddha.
In another story, the Buddha told of Culasiva
Thera, who was not at all affected by poison because of his
profound practice of metta. A Dhammapada commentary tells of four
novice monks whose practice of loving-friendliness was so profound
they were unaffected by a weapon. Not only were disciples of the
Buddha protected by metta, but in one story a cow was spared being
shot with an arrow because of her love and affection nursing her
calf.
The Buddha taught that the six senses—seeing,
hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, and cognizing—are on fire.
Any one of them is sufficient to consume us. The antidote, he
taught, is to know reality.
Be mindful and see how sensations and states
affect you. Think of your own experience; see how much you burn
with the fire of greed, hatred, and delusion, and how much you
poison your mind with greed, hatred, and delusion. When you
practice metta, your breathing becomes calm and you feel so much
love and compassion that your mind naturally wishes all beings to
live in peace and harmony.
8. Your mind immediately becomes
calm.
Metta stimulates a friendly feeling that makes
us calm and happy. It truly is a wonderful way of life!
9. Your complexion
brightens.
Metta shows in your face. As you practice
metta, joy arises. At first it is barely noticeable, but as the joy
increases, it begins to pervade your whole mind and body. Metta
does not rely on any particular time, place, or condition. Once
aroused, it can remain present in you the rest of your life. Your
face cannot hide what is going on in your mind. When you are angry,
it shows on your face. When you are peaceful, everyone notices. The
energy of metta spreads through your bloodstream and nourishes your
whole being. You look bright and clear, calm and
peaceful.
10. You’ll die with a clear
mind.
The thought of dying peacefully can be
comforting. When we have unresolved conflicts, death can be
difficult. Loving-friendliness can make dying easier for the one
passing away and for those around her.
There is a difference between true peace and
the appearance of peace. You may seem cheerful; you might even make
people laugh. But when you are approaching death, if greed, hatred,
and delusion are still lurking deep down in your psyche, that
joviality will vanish. Practicing loving-friendliness sinks into
the depths of your consciousness and makes your mind genuinely
calm. With metta, you will die peacefully, without
confusion.
In the Anguttara Nikaya, Samavati, the wife of
the king the Buddha had declared chief among those who practiced
metta, was burned alive while leading a loving-friendliness retreat
for women.
Magandiya was the culprit. So proud of her
rare beauty, Magandiya rejected suitor after suitor. One day her
father saw the Buddha sitting under a tree and asked him to marry
his daughter. The Buddha explained his vow of celibacy and declined
in a way that Magandiya found offensive, and she was determined to
seek revenge. Magandiya knew that Samavati was one of the Buddha’s
favorite laywomen, so she set fire to the house where Samavati was
leading a metta retreat for 500 women. They all died in the
fire.
As she lay dying, Samavati declared, “Over
many lifetimes our bodies have been burned over and over again. As
you pass from birth to death and back to birth, be heedful!” Her
words were so powerful that the 500 women dying alongside her were
inspired to practice metta meditation in their final moments.
Although their bodies were burned by fire, their minds were
free.
11. You’ll die in peace.
If at the time of death you do not yet
comprehend the highest truth, you will still go to a realm of great
peace.
If you have not completed the path of
awakening before you die, the peaceful mental state generated by
metta will still allow you to be reborn in a heavenly
realm.
Regardless of whether we consider heaven a
real or figurative place, this portends well and encourages us to
practice loving-friendliness while we can.