Conceptions of
Happiness
Daniel Goleman FALL
2005 tricycle
Happiness is awakening to the
question “Who is
happy, who is unhappy, who lives, and who dies?” True happiness is
uncaused, arising from the very nature of being itself. We seek
happiness only when we are asleep to our true nature—dreaming that
enlightenment is over there, somewhere else. But we are all,
already, what we are seeking. Buddhas seeking to be Buddhas. Ha!
How ridiculous.
—Adyashanti, San Francisco Bay area teacher who draws
upon Zen and Advaita Vedanta
We’re always trying to free ourselves from
misery but we go about it the wrong way. There are a lot of small
sweetnesses in life that we ignore because they’re so fleeting.
It’s very important to look at what lifts our spirits and brings us
happiness—to cherish those moments and cultivate appreciation.
Happiness comes from being receptive to whatever arises rather than
frantically trying to escape what’s unpleasant.
—Pema Chödron, from True Happiness, a Sounds True CD
set
Society teaches us that suffering is an enemy.
We are constantly encouraged to reject what is unpleasant,
disappointing or difficult. “What’s all this suffering? Let’s be
happy! Have fun!” But our suffering is not our enemy. It is only
through a relationship with my pain, my sadness, that I can truly
know and touch the opposite—my pleasure, my joy, and my
happiness.
—Claude AnShin
Thomas, Zen monk,
teacher, and author, At Hell’s Gate: A soldier’s Journey from War
to Peace
Happiness is primarily a matter of work that
is fulfilling. There are many other factors, of course—a nice
marriage or relationship, economic security, intellectual and
artistic stimulation, and so on—but if the job is unsatisfactory,
nothing else can really compensate.
—Robert Aitken, retired master, Palolo Zen Center, Honolulu,
Hawaii
Isn’t is funny?—I have been studying happiness
for at least forty years, but I still don’t have a definition of
it. The closest one would be that happiness is the state of mind in
which one does not desire to be in any other state. Being deeply
involved in the moment, we do not have the opportunity to think
about anything but the task at hand—hence, by default we are
happy.
—Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi,
director, Quality of Life Research Center, Claremont Graduate
University, and author, Flow: The Psychology of Optimum
Experience
Studies my colleagues and I have conducted
consistently show that when people focus on money, image, and
status, they experience less happiness, vitality, and life
satisfaction, and more depression and anxiety. Whereas
materialistic pursuits tend to alienate people from their true
selves, from others, and from the world at large, “intrinsic”
pursuits encourage people to become who they really are and to
deeply connect with other people and the broader world.
—Tim Kasser, Associate Producer of Psychology, Knox
College, and author, The High Price of Materialism
Usually, when we use the word “happiness,” it
refers to how we feel when things appear to be going our way. This
kind of happiness is superficial and ultimately unsatisfying.
During the fourteen years I served in a maximum security federal
prison, it was clear that things did not appear to be going my way.
Practicing the Buddhist path, grounded in meditation, study,
precepts practice, and service, I discovered an abiding
cheerfulness and even joy. This kind of happiness is worth
pursuing.
—Fleet Maull, founder and president, Prison Dharma
Network
I think the best way to think about happiness
is that it comes not from the inside or outside but from between.
We can best find happiness by getting the conditions of our lives
right, conditions that allow us to connect with others, with
projects, and with something larger than the self, be it God, a
social movement, or a profession with an ennobling tradition, such
as teaching, art, medicine, or science.
—Jonathan Haidt, associate professor of psychology,
University of Virginia, and author, The Happiness Hypothesis:
Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom [Basic Books, January
2006]
My teacher, Tsoknyi Rinpoche, uses an image I
like: “happiness for no reason.” When I think of that I think of
being at home in one’s body and mind, in life as it is. That
feeling of belonging is quieter than a lot of the flash we try to
experience, but it is ours, not someone else’s to give us or to
take away. It is steadfast and supportive, unbroken when conditions
change. It can flourish in the face of obstacles, it can be there
for us when everything else seems to fail, and it reminds us that
each moment of life, delightful or painful, is precious.
—Sharon Salzberg, co-founder, Insight Meditation Society, and
author, “The Force of Kindness” [Sounds True, September
2005]
Ultimately, happiness is equanimity. While we
all seek to be happy, we need to reduce suffering to get there.
Neuroscience offers a biological metaphor: the brain areas most
active during happiness, in the left prefrontal cortex, contain the
neurons that silence disturbing feelings, allowing us to recover
from states of emotional suffering more quickly or be less thrown
off balance.