Learn to let go of 'conditional
thinking'
Tim Carl Napa Valley
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We often take actions to get a result other than the action itself.
This is what I call “conditional thinking,” doing something to get
something else. For example, we may work to get money so we can
take a trip to relax. This type of behavior is typically benign and
is often our normal mode of operation, but problems can occur when
we take potentially harmful actions without addressing the
underlying cause – for example, consuming toxic substances to
lessen our anxiety and stress.
It can be a
powerful practice to become more aware of our conditional behavior
so that we might avoid actions that are harmful to ourselves and
others. Awareness of conditional action can also result in greater
satisfaction in the action itself: gardening to garden, listening
to listen, playing to play.
I’ve
practiced meditation for years and now I teach it. One idea that
I’ve been contemplating lately is, what is the goal, if any, of
meditation? This very question is, of course, a type of conditional
thinking.
The number
of legitimate scientific studies that suggest meditation is
beneficial has become staggering. As I’ve written before, even a
modest practice of meditation has benefits ranging from improving
concentration to modifying the DNA of our cells so that we might
live longer.
Consequently there’s been a lot of interest in the practice of
meditation. When some new trend is touted by both Oprah and the
U.S. military, that’s a sign it has captured the zeitgeist of the
times. Companies as diverse as Apple and Procter & Gamble have
jumped on the bandwagon, too, hoping not to miss out on the newest,
greatest practice that purports to increase productivity, health
and happiness.
The problem
is, however, that many of these proponents of meditation are trying
to extract something from the practice. And here can be the rub.
Attempting to force a condition on the practice of meditation
changes it to just another consumptive behavior.
Recently a
friend came to me and told me she’d started practicing
meditation.
“I am
really enjoying meditating; it makes me feel so relaxed,” she said
over coffee.
I nodded in
agreement.
She
continued. “But I’m wondering how long I have to practice like this
to get the long-term benefits?”
“I’m
not sure what you mean,” I said.
“I mean, it
takes 15 to 20 minutes to meditate every day,” she said. “I’m
hoping that I can do this for a few months and then get back to my
normal life.”
I didn’t
know what to say. In my experience the practice of meditation is as
natural and normal as brushing my teeth, so I just shook my head
and shrugged.
What I
practice and teach is a form of meditation that has its roots in
the Buddhist Vipassanā tradition but also pulls from my experience
as a Catholic and my studies into world religions, including
Judaism, Native American rituals and Hinduism. My practice also
pulls from the philosophic traditions of Greek, German, French and
English as well as the Zen poets.
At the core
of my meditative practice are three elements: 1) open awareness, 2)
nonjudgmental observation and 3) compassionate listening to
ourselves and others. Each of these three guidelines provides a
framework that seems to foster peacefulness. Is the condition of my
practice then peacefulness? Tough to answer definitively, but
certainly it’s a possibility. However, if you spend time
contemplating these three elements in a quiet setting, you may find
that you actually let go of the conditions and instead become
intensely connected and at ease with the world around you. So then
are connection and ease the goals? Again, tough to
answer.
Have you
ever been doing something, perhaps a project or hobby, during which
you find yourself joyfully lost in the activity to the point where
you lose track of time? These are often moments of doing something
not for some personal gain but instead doing the activity for the
activity itself. Authors who have written on the subject have
called these moments “flow” or “single-mindedness” and many other
labels. I think of these moments as embracing the non-conditional,
just doing the thing for the doing itself.
Living with
more non-conditional activity in my life has let me observe and
reflect on a few of my behaviors that have resulted in suffering
for myself and others, such as when I drink too much wine or eat
too many desserts. When I loosen my grip on the outcome and focus
instead on the action itself, I find myself more flexible, healthy
and able to adapt to what is an ever-changing environment, which
gives me a great feeling of peace.
Does living
more non-conditionally mean moving to a yurt, going vegan and
throwing away your shoes. I don’t know, maybe. But for now, at
least for me, I am happy with my indoor plumbing and tennis
shoes.
So is the
goal of my meditation to get rid of conditional thinking?
Absolutely not. But practicing under these guidelines has provided
me insight into when I am acting conditionally, and when I observe
these actions over time I’ve found that I can then work to better
understand why I am taking actions that in some cases may be
causing more harm than good.