It is during the festivities that some of us are overwhelmed
with feelings of self consciousness, sharp pangs of unfulfillment
and emptiness.
Some, it seems are unable to partake in the festivities in a
joyous mood as they felt have not accomplished as much as compared
to others, and as a result, felt left out, lagging behind.
Others, being in amidst of it all, caught up in the flurry of
activities, are overwhelmed in the opposite of the
scale of participation, feels flustered. And when the
festivities ends, feels drained.
On both ends, the feelings of emptiness creeps in, and one feels
a sense of loss and unrealness of existence.
And why so?! It is because Self is something never permanent and
inherent to begin with. Because the pace of life does not match the
pace of our consciousness, our Self, that such a feeling of
uneasiness arise. We project and expect expectations to
conform them to occur within timeframe. But life, often do not turn
out the way we want, so life is full of regrets and disappointment.
Such is the life.
Life is dukkha, or dissatisfaction. To find bliss, we
need to go back to the ordinariness of being.
To begin with, we do not live in the present moment, for
when either dwell in the past and project towards
what that has not come, in other words, the future. We often
comes short, and end up dissatisfied. We hold back unsatisfactory
feeling without acknowledging them. Suppressing them, allowing them
to bite back at us on a later date.
We crave self gratification, and often we fell
short and yet we are often so comfortable in wallowing
in self pity that we are unwilling to wake ourselves out of
this state of unsatisfactoriness.
What are states of unsatisfactoriness, unhappiness, regret,
anger, envy, craving, denial are among them. We have develop such
behavioral patterns to help as relate life to us and know
they have come to haunt us. Such is the formulae that has
come to define our personality and character has now come to
bind us in a vicious cycle.
One way of overcoming these sensations is to savour
each moment as it come, being in respect for the
moment enjoying each experience as it arises, not
anticipating nor over indulging. The difficult
part is in the over indulging of the pleasurable and
negative rise of emotions. One way of putting is like when
holding a pen, or a weapon and or even a broom when
attempting using them. Holding firm without grasping it too
tightly. This how we can hold our mind.
A light touch is called for not allowing them to
forment, aggravating them. We simply acknowledge the rise of
any emotions, initially with a labelling, eg. I am angry, I
am disgusted, so on. As we become more dexterous, we are now just
responding to angry, disgusted, without the I.
The more we are accustomed to such attention, we detected the
rise of reactions as quickenings of
consciousness, until they are no longer habitual.
We progress from grossness of such emotions to subtle rise of
such emotions. We gradually progress until they no longer become
our push buttons.
There are many conditions that impede the extinction of such
arising of such emotions, but they are doable. Just be
mindful of aggravating factors that causes the negative
emotion to rise. Practice vigilance and single mindedness at
all times will help.