The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one
student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and
the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change
of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same , the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a Divine Being, which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting, “Oh, My God.”
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A” IN THE CLASS.
I read this on Facebook before! It is quite well thought out!
But the rules and assumptions here is based on a Christian idea of
hell. The person who wrote this obviously have no idea what other
faiths' beliefs in hell is.
The Buddhist hell differ with
the Christian hell on 2 very important points. The Buddhist hell is
not eternal. Hell beings suffer in that realm for a long, long time
depending on their karma. But they will only suffer based on their
karma and when the karma to suffer in hell is exhausted, they will
'die' and take rebirth in higher realms. The second point about the
Buddhist hell is that non-Buddhist are not necessarily condemned to
hell. It depends solely on their karma. In Buddhism, aggression and
anger are very powerful causes to take rebirth in
hell.