Here's a little anecdote of a blog entry by a Buddhist teacher,
Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. There's even a video of him explaining further
in the link below. Do read and be inspired...
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Dear friends,
Today I was at the beach in East Coast of Malaysia and decided
to share how I arrived at Thubten Dhargye Ling Dharma Centre in Los
Angeles when I was 17 years old. I also have shared my thoughts on
Dharma work. I thought my sharing might help some people. After all
we are all humans and have our thoughts, feelings and emotions
right or wrong.
Dharma work is something of a blessing, privilege and honour. We
should never do Dharma work thinking we are doing the centre, our
guru, others and Buddha a favour. If we think like that then even
offering flowers and incense to the Buddha is doing Buddha a
favour?? Not so. We are not doing anyone a favour if we think
we are doing them a favour…in fact, it defeats the whole purpose
because of wrong thinking. If we need to help people who need
to cross a dangerous river daily by building a bridge, we can build
it ourselves but it can take much longer. If we join forces with
others, then the bridge can be completed much faster with less
effort. Joining in the Dharma work of a centre is like the example
I just gave with the bridge. When we do Dharma work, we must act in
accordance with the Dharma. We must have integrity, discipline,
drive, commitment and honesty. Then the work really becomes Dharma
and something to help us bring happiness to others and ourselves
eventually. Dharma work places should not become places to dump our
anger, frustrations and emotions forcing others to confront our
unhappiness in our lives by asking for attention and not applying a
solution. Of course our Dharma friends will listen and try to help,
but ultimately we must apply the true solutions/remedies to get
results. When we throw tantrums, demand special attention, do not
complete our work, do not fulfill our promises, then whatever you
are doing is not Dharma work. How could it be? It is work that
could be Dharma but you made it into work that harms yourself and
others.
Dharma people are generally more tolerant, forgiving, patient,
kind but we should not take advantage of this. The problems you
have in your romance, family, kids, husbands, wives, partners,
friends, etc. were not created by your Dharma friends, so do not
blame them. Do not expect them to be the object of your unhappiness
with the situations you created yourself. Do not ask Dharma, your
teacher, your friends to solve your problems. You must apply the
Dharma and solve your problems. If you are always throwing
tantrums, blaming others, complaining and making others
uncomfortable, then you will make yourself unwelcome wherever you
go. No one deserves to be lonely and sad. So do not create the
situations to become lonely. When you do Dharma work, then do your
work with a smiling face, good attitude and a disposition that make
others happy to have you. That is your training. Training your mind
to become something that other people will want you is the
challenge worth taking.
Dharma work is NOT WHAT OTHERS CAN GIVE YOU OR WHAT YOU CAN
DEMAND, but what you give others quietly and without
complaints……dharma work is about giving. Giving from all levels is
what really brings love, contenments and respect…what we all want
and need… Dharma is about rooting out our selfish mind that brought
us all our problems in the first place. Dharma teaches us the truth
about ourselves and we should face it and do something about it
before it’s too late…When we have so much support and care around
us and we ‘cannot’ solve our problems, how to solve it alone and
away? But sometimes being away makes us realize what we missed and
it could be positive..it’s different for everyone.
We should never blame others in our work. We should never push
responsibilities onto others. We should never ask others to solve
our problems and make them listen to our stories for hours with no
end, when we created the problems and only we can solve it. We
should not threaten others we will quit, or leave or will not
participate because that is the same as telling Lord Buddha you
quit and you don’t want to ‘help’ Buddha. That sounds ridiculous by
any standards. If you wish to quit to take care of your problems
and maybe later do Dharma work again, then do so quietly and
without complaining or gossiping or making up stories to cover your
shame, failure and embarrassment. If you do so, then you close the
doors for yourself to return and you end up alone again..you end up
back to square one.
Please remember, no one forced you to do Dharma work. You chose
it. So if you choose Dharma work and joined an organization or
dept, then it has rules and parameters from past experiences to
safeguard everyone for the future. It’s like if there’s a stretch
of road that is slippery, then a sign can be put up to warn drivers
and also to lower the speed. To lower the speed is not a rule to
make you suffer or control you but to protect you. Similarily
within any Dharma organizations there are unique ways of doing
things that have evolved over time, so do not just think it’s
useless and throw it to the wind and act as you like… After all,
have you ever run a Dharma centre or managed many people? If you
haven’t then you have to realize the rules are to help you, others
and the work long term. Not all rules are perfect, but with time
they can be perfected. Nothing is perfect after all. But important
to know that if you have the merits to do Dharma work, then your
attitude must adjust with it. How can you touch statues, thangkas,
offerings, attend teachings, give talks, do rituals, do prayers and
be involved with work everyday that is meant to relieve others of
sufferings when you add to their sufferings by your attitude? That
wouldn’t do would it? How can you join Dharma and act the same or
worse than before you have joined Dharma? That doesn’t make sense
either please….. I wrote all this for you to self examine and not
to judge you or criticize you…definitely to help you examine. I
examine myself always. I don’t always like what I see, but I do
something about it because I know it will bring me trouble later
and I don’t want trouble…. Doing something about what we don’t like
in ourselves is Dharma. Repaying the Guru’s kindness in the highest
manner is to transform ourselves. If we appreciate our Guru, then
show it with transformation, everything else is an excuse. Dharma
work is meant to transform ourselves for the benefit of ourselves
and others….Not to make us worse.
If you are volunteering, then how wonderful you sponsor yourself
a stipend to work for the Dharma. Then your giving of yourself to
Dharma is thorough. Rejoice. You have the fortune to take care of
yourself so the Dharma does not need to find more help to help you.
You help yourself to help others…so wonderful if you can do
that…What you do not need in stipend, can be used for someone else
to do Dharma work, how kind of you to allow this chain
reaction….
If you are on stipend because you wish to do Dharma work and
cannot afford to, then you are so lucky that Dharma pays you to
transform and collect merit. Think about it..you are being paid to
be a good person, generate good qualities, do work to benefit
others, to attend teachings, to have the honour to work with other
selfless people, to give meaning to your lives, to dedicate merits
for your loved ones, to be in an environment that aims to better
society and others…You are being paid to become enlightened..how
lucky you are??? If you are collecting a stipend, you are not bad,
it’s because you need to, so be grateful, humble, work hard,
nurture others, be generous in your time/effort/work, do not make
trouble, or burden others ever. No one is paying you to make others
suffer more..People come to the dharma to find some peace and
wisdom, not for a stipened person of the Dharma to burden them more
with problems and confusion…take the stipend with open hands and
also give back with open hands…You are lucky to be paid to benefit
others…please think……I rejoice for you to do Dharma work either
way. I truly do.
If really you leave Dharma work for now whether as a volunteer
or stipend staff, you didn’t leave Dharma or your centre. You
should continue to really practice Dharma so you can overcome your
obscurations. You should be involved in the centre, pujas,
teachings and activities. Why? Because you need it very much. You
may be embarrassed at first, but your face loss for the moment is
worth your continuation of your Dharma learning and participation.
Face is nothing and Dharma is everything. So even if you are not
doing Dharma work per se, you should not abandon anything else in
the Dharma ever…
For any reason that is beyond our control that we must ‘leave’
Dharma work, then be grateful. Do not be sneaky. Do not keep quiet.
Do not just take and pretend you are staying. But talk to the
person in charge. Be honest. Let your Dharma co-workers know. Make
them feel worth the effort they put towards you. Do not keep quiet
till the last minute, sneak away and do not want to face so many
that have been kind to you because you have no gratitude, no
appreciation and you take and don’t give. Courage is appreciation.
If you do not have appreciation, then anywhere you go, you will be
not respected. Places and faces can change, but results will be the
same. Wherever you plant apple trees, it will be apples that grow
and not oranges. So if you need to leave, then leave in a way that
is honest, respectful and do not treat your Dharma work just as a
job. Try your best to find a replacement. Do not just leave an
empty space and let others fill it. Your job and what you are doing
will be left to others to cover. If you are sincere about your
Dharma practice and Dharma work, then you will do your best to make
sure what you are leaving does not burden anyone else. Do not owe
money, debts or leave a bad taste in other people’s mouth. Because
then it’s like abandoning the best thing in your life and then just
rubbing more insult into the wound.
If you have the honour to sponsor Dharma, then do not treat the
Dharma like a racehorse expecting it to win and bring you returns.
The returns you want and what you get can be different, maybe
better. Do not control others with your money. Dharma
centres/actitivities/people need your sponsorship and appreciate
it. But your attitude should not be a King or Queen waltzing into
the Dharma centre because you are a sponsor. A sponsor should be
all the more humble, gracious and never show off what you gave and
expect gratitude. Your reward and ‘payment’ of gratitude is the
lives Dharma has touched because of you…. If the Dharma, centre and
activities are growing, that is your reward. That is the true
reward. You would have most likely used your money for more
samsaric acquisitions, but when you sponsor the Dharma you are
doing something so excellent, that the Dharma is doing you a favour
to allow you to sponsor it…think about it.
Sponsoring monks, teachers and the gurus is a unique position to
be in. You have the direct affinity to help your teacher in their
work…how beautiful is that? You get to relieve some burdens from
your teachers’s mind in raising funds for their noble projects. How
wonderful to relieve the minds of people who uphold the Dharma,
share knowledge with you and give your life true purpose. All the
wealth in the universe is not enough of an offering to one who
shows you the path to enlightenment. Enlightenment is priceless.
Liberation from all suffering is priceless. So if you can support a
person who does this for others, how great is your luck to chance
upon this..I am not saying sponsors deserve nothing and just offer,
offer, and offer. What I am saying is when the sponsor offers with
no expectations, then the true teacher will recognize this, the
love and blessings to the sponsor will be manifold. No true teacher
will not take care of such a sponsor. Sponsors should trust.
Sponsors do not need to feel jealous, or compete or demand because
if you expect your teacher to take care of all this, you think very
lowly of your teacher. Offer more than funds, offer your
practice..that is the greatest and highest form of supporting your
teacher.
From my side, I appreciate the sponsors deeply and my wish to
benefit them goes into not just this life, but future lives.
Without sponsorship, how can any centre grow, reach out or do any
of their noble works. From my heart, I thank and appreciate
sponsors so much as with any teacher I am sure. A good
relationships comes between sponsor and teacher when both just do
their work with the intent to benefit others and nothing
else…….what a wonderful partnership.
Your teacher will use your sponsorship to the best of their
judgement, leave it to them and do not demand reports, special
favours, special attention, special exceptions. If you do, it will
make others lose respect for you. After sponsoring, why would you
want others to lose respect in you because of petty behaviours. Be
a shining example of generosity without control, strings,
conditions, doubt and demands. Then you become a true sponsor of
the Dharma acquiring merits to bring great spiritual returns.
Sponsors should get involved with Dharma work and see it to the
end, after all why ‘invest’ in something and not see it all the way
through? How much and how often you sponsor should be done with
100% motivation to benefit without demands….that is good training.
Dharma is not a business and the people involved are not business
people. Before you sponsor, make sure it is the place you have
confidence in. Check it thoroughly. Whatever you promise to
sponsor, then do so and show your integrity as a sign of your
spirituality. Do not make empty promises, because that leads you to
the wrong type of emptiness…..It disappoints others
deeply….Sponsors are very kind….for sure….for very sure…
Doing Dharma work helps us to collect merits and the benefits
are far reaching on many levels…. Do not make it into a situation
where you collect demerits, more negative karma and strengthen your
negative habituations. You must transform your mind in order to do
Dharma work and for it to be really Dharma, otherwise it is just
work like any other work in Samsara. Please think about what I have
said….I am not here to criticize you or accuse, but to lay the
cards out on the table straight and honestly. Please see it as that
and not something to hurt you or accuse you. Of course there are
many who really do Dharma work and inspire me and many others. To
them I fold my hands in humility and I thank them.
Sometimes in the Dharma centres you come across people who know
their stuff, memorized the prayers, are fast, been around for many
years, volunteer alot, know alot of the history of the centre yet
they are not nice. They are jealous, nasty, very competitive, mooch
money from you, borrow and not give back, use sweet Dharma words
with bad motive to get something else, gossipy, schismatic,
and really turn alot of people off. Your question might be HOW COME
THIS IS ALLOWED OR WHY LIKE THAT??? Well there are going to be
people who listen, apply and practice the Dharma and there are
going to be people who don’t. That is what makes up a centre…Just
like in a hospital you come across caring and sincere nurses as
well as nurses who don’t care. So when you come across these people
and they have been hurtful to you, you may speak up to them and be
firm. Ask them not to treat you this way or that way. You can speak
up and it does not make you bad.. Being compassionate does not mean
being the object of unnecessary abuse from anyone centre or not…
These people are in the centre because if they weren’t they would
be worse off. It is the compassion of the teacher and members that
allow them to stay. So you can generate compassion towards them and
keep a safe distance if necessary. There have been instances in
every centre where certain people really do things that are very
bad forcing the centre to ask them to go for a retreat, or just
please do not get involved in the centre because their harm is way
beyond any parameters. There are all types of people in a
centre…but one should not judge the Dharma on their basis. There
are people who come to a centre with totally a non-spiritual goal
and maybe to use the centre or members…that does happen
unfortunately sad to say…..We must be alert to protect the centre
from people who’s intentions are harmful by taking appropriate
actions according to the law of the land. I mention the
truth/reality and it may shock some of you, but welcome to the real
world…I am sorry. In a hospital there will be people who
benefit and live from treatment, but some do not. Yet medical
treatment for others must continue. Watch yourself and judge
yourself when in the Dharma as your goal is peace, wisdom and
liberation….
Please do not take offense in what I have written, I wrote it to
clarify. Not to accuse or say everyone is like this or that. From
what I wrote, you take what applies to you if anything. If it
doesn’t apply, I still have a duty to explain and share on the
attitude behind Dharma work. If you understand, then everyone will
have a better relationship with eachother and that is what I
want.
I thank you,
Tsem Rinpoche
( http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/dharma-work-attitude-tdl.html )