Hi zhurav,
i agree that our friends are very important in affecting our
minds. Besides looking for friends who could complement your
path further, it is also important to avoid people who affect our
minds negatively, at least until our mind has gained some strength
and stability. The degeneration of your mind that you
described is quite common and is a sign of obscurations.
Sometimes, we collect obscurations from the energies of
people, from our food, environment and this is worsened by our
inability to maintain mindfulness in our lives. The best way
is to constantly have mindfulness and introspection, read
dharma books and listen to webcasts of authentic teachers online
(eg, Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche). We also need to continually do
practices that collect merits and purify obstacles. Try to
surround yourself with constant reminders through books, quotes,
helpful friends, etc to withstand the onslaught of the distractions
of life.
For sure, it is very good that you are paying attention to this
problem and trying to address it in some ways. Many people who are
sliding are not even cognizant of that fact.
Advice on Friends
by Dza Patrul Rinpoche
A Good Friend Induces Good Habits
If you rely on a friend with knowledge, your intellect will
increase.
If you rely on a friend with compassion, you will give birth to
bodhichitta.
If you rely on a friend with contentment, your desires will
decrease.
If you rely on a friend with generosity, you will give rise to a
giving mind.
If you rely on a friend with a peaceful and restrained
temperament, your mind-stream will become good.
From a friend with disillusionment with the world, you will
become weary of samsara.
From a friend with renunciation, you will give rise to the wish
for liberation.
From relying on a friend who cares more about the next life, you
will remember to practice the Dharma.
Relying on a friend with few desires, you will give rise to
contentment.
From a friend with diligence, your fortitude will become
great.
If you associate with a sacred friend, your good qualities will
be drawn out.
Relying on a friend with the wish for liberation, you will work
for permanent happiness.
From a friend with a virtuous mind, you will give rise to a
wholesome attitude.
From a friend with pure perception, you will generate faith.
If you associate with a friend endowed with wisdom, you will
accomplish your ultimate aspirations.
These are the habits that come from good company.
The meaning, therefore, is to rely on virtuous friends!
A Bad Friend Induces Bad Habits
If you rely on friend with mental darkness, your wisdom will
decrease.
Relying on a friend with anger, your mind-stream will become
bad.
Following a friend with lust, you will be nostalgiac for
youth.
If you follow a friend with avarice, stinginess will be
born.
If you follow a friend with pride, you will remember your
haughty position.
Following a friend without renunciation, you will be attached to
this life.
Following a friend who seeks after the appearances of this life,
you will forget about the next life.
From following a base friend, you will be attentive to
commerce.
Following a friend concerned with profit, you will have a
business-mind.
Following a friend with craving for wealth, you will be focused
on collecting and hoarding.
Following a friend with laziness, you will become indolent.
Following a friend with distractedness, you will be carried away
with this life.
Associating with a friend suffused with negativity, you will
generate destructive thoughts.
Associating with a friend with no faith, you will be fixated on
non-virtue.
These are the habits that come from bad company.
The meaning, therefore, is to abandon evil friends!
And so, at the request of Lama Rigdzin Gyamtso, this was done by
Patrul. Virtue!
