Is it necessary to explain and justify one's actions?

allkosong SG

Hi all,

Sometimes I do things out of good intention but people around me think I have other hidden selfish agenda. I am the kind of person who tnd not to care about what others think of me and hence don't usually bother to explain/justify my actions, but this has caused me some problems with people (not surprisngly).

My question is: Have I been unskilful in not caring about what others think of me and should I make the effort to explain my actions? What would a wise buddhist do in such situations?

Thank you in advance for your advice.

An Eternal Now SG

Given the right opportunity I will speak up to clarify misunderstanding, but otherwise after I have done my part to speak, I will not be concerned about what they think of me.

Dharmadhatu SG

I would check if i am overly concerned about what others' think of me. If so, i will try to address my own graspings. Another thing is if you are doing positive things and really with no hidden agenda, then try to do it in a less obvious (low profile) manner. That will really help. Doing positive things also need alot of wisdom and skilful means.

FireIce SG

问心无愧

SevenEleven SG

If one had been mindful of his thought, deed and action, normally you become aware and thus do not need much explaination and justification in his action.

However, until mindfullness is being present at every moment, rather than justify your action, be sincere and acknowledge your action.

Siliconchip SG

问心无愧

问心无愧 = Have a clear conscience (FI failed English)

Weychin SG

To want to have skillful means mean that you have compassion. Skillful means is having to be able to empathize with the person you are helping, relating the issues at hand from the other person’s point of views. We are not homogeneous in our emphasis of values, and view points. Being right and doing the rights are often not the same! Very often we impose ourselves on others because we take ourselves to be right! However, as we able to understand our personal processes, we also are able to empathize with others too!

Dawnfirstlight SG

I will clarify if others have mistaken my intention. 广结善缘is also part of practicing. If not, they may become our karmic debtors. It is not worth it if it is just a misunderstanding. However, just like AEN, after all the clarification, I will not bother about what they think as my conscience is clear.

AtlasWept SG

Be resolute in action and kind in gentle word. Seek equanimity within the maelstrom of another's judgment, for it may oftentimes be fueled by wantonness, vanity and ignorance. Be mindful of judgment manifesting within praise and condemnation alike, and seek virtue in neither.

dude_09 SG

if people misunderstand u, don't need to explain. the need of us wanting others to appreciate us and understand us is part of "我执“。

阿弥陀佛