I'm surprised there is no one posting anything about your own
sufferings. Do you have problems in your life? Understand what
causes the problem.So many people had focused on enlightenment
discussion that fails to address the powerful force of
repentence.
If you have no courage of confession of your wrong-doings
(perhaps that breaks the law), I suggest that you repent in front
of Buddha (or in your mind) and vow never to commit it again. The
great compassion of Buddha is willing to relieve the sufferings of
those who commit it and offers ways and means to lessen the bad
karmic effect on our suffering. If you repent with your heart and
mind, not only will the bad karma be lessened, you will slowly be
healing until you recover. This thread is for those who have picked
up the courage and wants to confess, repent for the wrong-doings
and are "awakened". You need not necessarily confess. But those who
have past experience should contribute. Buddhism offers a very good
effective means to relieve the sufferings in our human world.
If you still do not know the root to the problem, perhaps,
saying it out will let members discuss what the roots are. However,
I believe the 'awakening' have to be done by yourself. The buddha
says "walk your own way". He can only show you the way. Chanting
everyday is a very powerful force that has 'awakened' me why I'm
suffering. Some people meditate (but that's for people who wants to
"heal" their mind and to realize compassion and wisdom). For
me, I've found out the root to my own suffering through chanting.
Also joining the Repentence Dharma service in temples such as Liang
Huang Bao Chan 梁煌宝忏, Great Compassion Repentence 大悲忏 helps to
lessen the bad karma and allows me to understand why I'm suffering.
Suggested chanting includes Om Mani Padme Hom, Namo Guanshiyin Pusa
南无观世音菩萨, Great Compassion Mantra (大悲咒）, Medicine Sutra/Mantra
(药师佛灌顶真言/药师心经）. I suggest preparing a cup of water in front of
buddha while chanting. Chant for at least 7, 49 or 108 times
depends on your karma. The compassion water is known to treat any
forms of sufferings including diseases. Drink it after you chant. I
chant Medicine Heart Mantra 药师心经 that today, I'm "awakened" to what
causes my problem while I'm strolling.
So let me begin to share my experience
Sufferings
Have suffered from a mental disease that's called "paranoid
schrizophenia" (on the light side) since I was 24 years old. It
plagued my life for the past 12 years until today I finally found a
way to remove this bad karma and the disease, thanks to Buddha's
great compassion and dharma. I was under "medication" from
psychiatrist for the past 12 years. I can still remember when the
disease first struck me, it was like in the hell.
I was exposed to buddhism for the past 8 years only to "awaken"
what causes the problem today after chanting medicine mantra
(药师心咒）yesterday and joining dharma services in temples.
This disease further leads to further sufferings such as
depression, sex addiction. I was able to break the depression
disease about 2 years after the disease struck me. I only break the
sex addiction (particularly porn and masturbation addiction) 2
years ago, after I started doing lots of chanting such as
Guanshiyin Pumen Pin 观世音普么品 and releasing lives (fangsheng
放生). Addiction makes me understand what it is like to be a
hungry ghost. I have not had sex with my wife for the past 1 year
and was able to hold on to precepts of no sexual indulgence (and no
cravings and no masturbation), in fact my wife was also a buddhist
and is an understanding person. We practise loving-kindness and
compassion. I practise what's known as chanting and holding on to
precepts (持戒）. Precepts are known to prevent people from
committing further evils.
Causes of
Sufferings
Buddha had said all sufferings originated from roots of evil:
greed, hatred, ignorance. I have no greed and practise generosity.
But I suffer from hatred and ignorance. The causes of my mental
disease originated from killing a chicken when I was a boy scout
during my teenage times. It struck me as I was chanting today and
practising mindfulness. In fact, I cut the throat of the chicken,
which makes the chicken cry in pain, his own hatred that causes my
own sufferings of mental disease today. When I realize this, I cry
it out lout in compassion and ask for Buddha's forgiveness. How can
I make such a grave mistake of killing under ignorance? What forces
me to carry out such killing?
I have also killed insects (cockroaches, houseflies). I can
still remember when I was a teenager. The mirror suddenly falls off
while I was bathing in my bathroom (not sure why) and it cuts my
stomach (luckily, it did not cause me to end my life). You
can associate this with revenge minds from those I killed.
Although some masters say that mental disease was a result of
bad karma resulted from hatred, greed or spoiling dharma services
in my past life, I believe this killing the chicken is the root to
the causes my disease. Having been "awakened" to this wrong-doing,
I vow never to engage in any form of killing and will start
practising life liberation and vegetarian today.
If you don't believe in the Buddha, you will have to believe in
karma. When the bad karma ripens under the right causes and
conditions, it will lead to sufferings.
Repentence, Precepts and Vows
I repent for all wrong-doings in my life, be it be acts of
killing, sexual misconduct, bad speech and other wrong-doings.
I've taken the 5 precepts:
No killing
No stealing
No sexual misconduct
No lying (or even bad speech)
No intoxicant.
I vow to cut off all evils.
I vow to practise all goods
I vow to help save all sentient beings from all
sufferings.
I have undertaken to practise vegetarian for the next of my life
(if possible) and refrain from killing.
May I dedicate the merits of knowing this karma (roots to the
suffering) to all sentient beings.
May I practise loving-kindness and compassion.
I'm glad that you see the effectiveness of Buddhist way of
repentance. Though I don't have much problems in life but I still
go for repentance whenever I can. As the Venerable said don't wait
till bad karma is ripen, do it now. 不要临时抱佛脚. Though it still works
when the karma ripens but it will take quite some time to see the
effectiveness.
The most effective way of repentance is to repent sincerely
according to Buddha's teachings.