what about when a mother or father physically abusing their
kids, like beating or punch them as sandbags? is this called love
also? i think its frustrations on the parents more than anything
else. if the parent truly love the child, the parent would
teach and point out the child's mistake, and teach him good
values,rather than scolding, beating and nagging the child all the
time.
Unfortunately, not all parents are well-educated in the art of
parenting. In 8 sufferings (八苦） of buddhism, one of them is
怨憎会苦 (sufferings of hatred/anger). Sufferings of
hatred can take place within a family. You're reborn into a family
due to law of karma, causes and conditions and because you do have
a relationship with your parents in the past life (Buddhism calls
it 因緣 or causes/conditions). Your karmic relationship with your
parents in the past life can be good or bad. If you've done some
wrong-doings to your parents in the past life (bad karma), then in
this present life, if you're reborn as the parents (while your
parents in the former life are reborn as your kids), you might
receive bad treatment from your kids (in the form of unfilial
piety). This is why physical abuses within the family (notice that
some kids kill their parents - considered one of the 7 heaviest bad
karmic act). On the otherhand, some parents physically abuse their
kids (beat them, rape, molest etc.). It's an endless cycle unless
compassion is practised.
So, why do people who hate each other are
'destined' to be together in a family? Even husbands and wives find
themselves at loggerhead. This is again subjected to the law
of karma, something we can never escape.
Kids who are reborn into a family of abuse are generally living
in the "realm of hell" in the human world. However, the dharma does
provide relieving of sufferings.
If family abuse constitute violation of criminal offence, it's
important to seek legal help. Spiritual healing from Buddhism can
complement the fear and sufferings. On the other hand, repentence
and practising of compassion can help relieve the spiritual
sufferings. This is where chanting or meditation will come in
hand.