Fcukpap, actually view is belief, and view stands in the way of
true freedom. The dissolving of views is liberation. Please read
http://nickdowntherabbithole.blogspot.com/2011/...
Conversations: Breakthrough!!!
I am the most relaxed I have been ever. This just got easier.
Now stay soft, stay supple, stay interested, have fun. It’s
all just causes and conditions, man. :-)
Me: Something seems to be reoccurring as I try
to maintain attentiveness to sensuousness and that
is whether this process/path to AF, is about
“seeing” something in the right way, or more so about
cultivating the right conditions (just being attentive to
sensuousness) long enough for the brain to flip a switch
(AF) because when the mind leans to the
“seeing” something in the right way, I wonder, what am I
not seeing and when it leans to the other way, I wonder if all
it takes is just doing this continuously non-stop
AFer: it entails a commitment to live like this for as long as now
lasts . its a lifestyle, not a means to an end, living
like this is it.
Me: What do you mean?
AFer: living like this is the answer already, suppose no
one had told you that af exists.
Me: oh man, I just saw what I’m doing…..so goal
oriented…addictive personality shining through. If no-one told me
AF existed, I’d just be cultivating the modes that make
life happier and I’d be happier.
This realization latter on in the day led to a
breakthrough which I described to my good friend
Owen.
Me: I realized ”I” am aiming for a goal, and that is
subtly inhibiting the process of freedom. I saw that I was
holding onto a belief, a stream of thought: “I had to work to
get AF!”
No doubt, there is some “work” involved but as you know it’s a
tricky business. So, I looked at the belief. The thought that came
up, came up with agitation too and I looked at the
sensations of agitation in the chest and the thoughts of goal
oriented-ness and realized that they were
just beliefs and belief is ”me”. I saw that
there is a belief that those sensations are unpleasant. I
saw that there was a belief that “I” was agitated and “I” had the
desire to not be agitated.
Then everything that came up, relationship stuff,
practice stuff, all of it was seen to be supported by a
belief, and one by one beliefs came up left right and
centre, virtually everything I think about-> based on
an unquestioned belief.
And belief is what stands in the way of actuality!
Plop!....a magnificent entrance to a PCE. Up comes another belief. I look at it and see
it is what seems to hold everything else in place. “I” believe that
“I” exist via a flow of becoming, via a sense of
“being”-> “I” believe that the flow of sensations at the
chest are “unpleasant” and worthy of causing tension in
this mind/body organism-> “I” believe that the
“unpleasant” sensations must be waited out with equanimity due to
them being “unpleasant”-> and on and on. Belief after
belief, identity after identity, all entangled up together to
support the flow of becoming. Look at the belief that those
sensations are worthy of their “unpleasant” for a feeling “me”
status…...no, they aren’t
.... magnificent entrance to PCE
“These sensations are negative” is a belief…looking at
it like it from the angle of belief and it all evaporates.
Everything that I believe somehow for better or for
worse conditions the current experience of the
flow of sankhara. So analyzing every belief that comes up
cuts the sequence that leads to sankhara forming. What remains
without any belief conditioning the flow of sankhara?
Actuality! So many subtle beliefs of how the current
moment need play out, conditioning the flow of
becoming.
Owen: the end of notions
Me: actuality is not about belief. Belief is the thicket of
views and views are ‘me” and “me” always stands in the
way of actuality. Goal oriented-ness is all about belief. Results
do occur but actuality does not in the moment.
Actuality occurs when beliefs drop away.
Owen: something I read a while back in one of thich nah han’s
books “Right View is No View”.
Me: so, Ive just blown the door wide open and seen all
the blocks. Whatever stands in the way
of actuality is being held stuck in place by a belief.
So subtle and tricky this mind. Suffering is a belief. It
occurs because there is a belief that suffering occurs.
No belief there to condition suffering, no suffering!
Owen: that’s lovely….god, it all comes back to zen
Me: if you question all beliefs, including the one which is behind
why you aren’t free from suffering right now in this very
moment, perhaps you will be. Beliefs are thought patterns that
loop back endlessly, locking the mind on a route that for good or
bad keeps actuality at bay.
They are like the cords that tie us down. They foster the sense of
being and strengthen it’s compounding. Seeing the illogic
nature of each belief, seems to make it disperse like clouds in the
wind
As I was doing this on the bus, just watching every feeling
every thought, they were all based on some belief or other. Why is
PCE mode not occuring? Because PCE mode can’t occur at the moment as ”I”
am agitated. Who is agitated???? Look closer! And there is the
belief that there is a feeling “me” that is agitated….but the
further back I go, the actual sensations that seem to be the
trigger of agitation are “believed” to be
“unpleasant”.
Another frickn belief!!!!...that there
is agitation there, that it is influencing
being, that it is a hindrance, that it causes
suffering—-> all based on belief; a locked in loop of
ignorant belief….and as I watched, each belief kind of
evaporated…made my brain go blank …almost like momentary
fruitions…and plop! PCE…then more beliefs,
and then evaporating and then plop! PCE….and
now..
Owen: wow
Me: it seems it is key. “I” am my beliefs. What stands in the
way of actuality? “Me” !
Owen: ok, I got to play with that. Thanks man.