Hi AEN,
can elaborate the essential diference btween 'certainty of
being' and non-dual experience?
is self realization(i am ) something that that lasts(never
leaves once u attained it?)this do not make much sense,as even if i
had a feeling certainty of my beingness,with the passing of
time,the realization(or experience) will remain as memory(of past
experience);can memory be trusted?it can't...
more importantly(as im interested in the practical aspect of
practice than theoretical,)how do u differentiate btween practices
that will lead to i am realization and those leading to
nondual?
surrender,let go 'release' will lead to nondual(collapse of the
observer),but what about inquiry?i found to put attention on the
sense of 'myself' seems tiring and demands much attention...what's
ur experience?
One more thing: luminosity, beingness is not a feeling.
You cannot feel beingness. Why? 'Feeling beingness' implies
there is a 'you' separate from 'beingness', a 'you' that can
sometimes feel, sometimes perceive, and sometimes not perceive
beingness. Because of a perceived separation you will always have
the illusory sense of 'losing' or 'gaining' presence-awareness. It
is like thinking 'oh I used to have it but now I don't' even while
reality is shining in plain view in its immediacy - you simply
overlooked it in favour of a false concept that you 'felt' it
before but now you don't. In actuality reality never is an
experience to be 'felt' - it is simply overlooked, maybe recognised
at times, but due to lack of realization, the habits/ignorance of
duality manifest and you then project a sense of separation again
and there goes the 'I got it, I lost it' drama - but that is all
illusory projections that stops arising after realization, and so
the tendency is to rest naturally in the natural state (which isn't
a state but the undeniable beingness).
Such a dichotomy is false, it is non-existent. There is no 'you'
who can perceive or not perceive 'beingness'.
Why? You ARE that self-shining, self-knowing presence-awareness.
Presence is aware by nature, and awareness is present by nature.
Presence and awareness is one.
Self-shining, self-knowing presence-awareness cannot be
approached by 'feeling' because there never was a subject-object
dichotomy present. So you don't come to know/feel/see presence, but
presence is self-felt, self-known, self-evident by its nature (but
overlooked due to our ignorance).
Even if you had a so called 'strong feeling of presence' (which
I often have even before the realization of I AM), if you do not
realize non-separation, if you do not realize your non-dual nature
as presence-awareness, you will be forever deluded even in the face
of reality.
As Presence-Awareness cannot be approached by feeling, it can
only be discovered, realized, as an ever-present, undeniable fact
of existence, more undeniable and more intimate than your own nose.
You don't need to remember your own existence or try to feel your
own existence - these attempts are seen to be ridiculous much like
the attempt to search for your horse elsewhere while riding in it,
or looking all around for your eyes with your eyes - because you
never were apart from existence, you ARE existence, undeniably
present in its immediacy. You simply need to realize that all
along, you were riding on your horse, all along, you ARE pure
presence awareness and there is no need to focus your attention on
it, try to remember it, try to feel it, and all those nonsense.