Actually the title of the topic already gives us the
perspective, when is it that we need to forgive, and when there
is’nt a need to forgive.
It is when we are attached to the issue at hand on a personal
level, that we have attraction and aversion, what is is pleasant
and what that is not to us, that arouses us us to reaction. For it
is only when we or “I” is offended, it is then that there is a need
to forgive, a need to let go of our attachment to the issue. The
way we react strongly to an issue, is a result from, or can also
form a basis to reactionary tendencies to future adversarial
encounters. Thus forms a vicious cycle, often with us being unaware
of it’s cause, as we are often clouded by our emotions.
The basis of Buddhism is the cultivation of “no self ”, as it is
the reaction in reference to self that arises the cloud of emotion,
attraction to pleasantness and aversion to unpleasantness. We
forgive because there is clinging and a need to forgive, and if you
are not being personally attached, is there still a need to
forgive?
We practice loving kindness and compassion to allow us to
empathize, to see the suffering of our fellow sentient beings so
that we do not form prejudiced thoughts, behaviour and reaction
from forming within us. When we are able to empathize, we no longer
regard our subject of attention as something separate and opposite
us, that the self in us slowly dissolves. Hell! it is not easy, if
it were that easy, most of us will not be here right now, going
round and round.
One way, is to get ourselves ordained and leave the environment
that reinforces the “self” view and work on our residual
tendencies.
The other is to practise bodhicitta, by taking the bodhisatta
vows. As long as we are understand our wisdom and meaningful
abilities(skillful means) are not fully developed, we work with and
on what is in front of us now.
But being compassionate does’nt means condone another wrong
doings, it means seeking the most amiable solutions to the issue.
This is where solutions differed due our ignorance or lack of off.
The clearer our minds are, the wider our vision and probabilities
of dealing are.
Being right or thinking we are right and others wrong also can
sometimes leads us to self righteousness, it may be pride, it may
be jealousy, desire, ignorance, miserliness or anger the lead us to
this line of thinking, leading to impose suffering on others.
Constant vigilance is needed, both outward and inward.