Hi, just a sharing from a book 'The Light Behind Consciousness'
by John Wheeler.
I'm also interested to hear comments from Thusness and Longchen
on these articles. And what is the defining
characteristic/difference between the experience of
'Consciousness/Impersonal Witness/I Am' and the
'Absolute/Awareness/Awareness-Unaware-Of-Itself' that John Wheeler
(and Nisargadatta Maharaj whom John traces his lineage from) talked
about? All I 'know' is that I am undeniably present and aware and
this presence-awareness is ever-present, whether it is called
Consciousness, or Awareness or I Am, I can't see the
difference.
update: on hindsight, during deep sleep it does seem that any
types of consciousness has faded into oblivion... sometimes when I
woke up I wonder 'where has my consciousness gone to while I slept'
even though presence-awareness can never be lost since it is
ever-present... so this is the 'awareness unaware of itself' since
it does not have any objects to reflect it's presence? Hence,
consciousness does indeed come and go on the screen of awareness.
Presence-Awareness cannot say it is present (become self-conscious)
or create a sense of being or self without reflecting upon itself
via the body-mind instrument/object, and being so is prior to
consciousness... and is utterly incomprehensible (since
comprehension = consciousness)... we can only dissolve into It by
letting go/disidentifying from all 'knowing' and
'self-consciousness'. (?)
Another question: some practitioners are able to maintain Pure
Witnessing 24/7 into dream and deep sleep... and as Ken Wilber (who
himself is able to achieve this) himself said, this will come only
after about 20 years of meditative practice. But if the above
perspective is correct, then that is not necessary since grasping
onto any form of self-consciousness is still not 'accessing' the
Absolute, right? Why not just let go into awareness unaware of
itself?
Speaking of this, it just reminded me of what Thusness told me 4
years ago:
"There is nothing wrong with the experience of Presence, but
it is the attachment (that hinders). It is the subtle attachment
that prevents us from deep sleep because we are unwilling to let go
of that experience (even into sleep). Though one will not feel
anything wrong or it does not disturb one much, it is not a form of
achievement as described. It is a retrogression instead. When one
is able to let go and let everything subside, even the loss of
consciousness, it is a more profound state instead. It has to be a
natural momentum that is being built up, until the propensities is
gone, the letting go is complete, it is illuminated
everywhere."
and his reply and comment on my non-dual experience in Death, Consciousness,
Nondual Perception:
Kok ur head! Ur mind is full of attainments and fruitions.
Nirodha Samapatti is a definite fruition of anagami and
arahat. I have no comments.
I am merely telling you that it is too early to conclude
as follow:
and suddenly, it
feels like "I" completely died and disappeared.. But
instead of losing
consciousness...
...Anyway I learnt from this that
'death' is not as scary as we might think and in fact is quite
blissful.
Associating 'death of I' with vivid luminosity of your
experience is far too early. This will lead you into
erroneous views because there is also the experience of
practitioners by way of complete surrendering or elimination
(dropping) like Taoist practitioners. An experience of deep
bliss that is beyond that of what you experienced can occur.
But the focus is not on luminosity but effortlessness, naturalness
and spontaneity. In complete giving up, there is no 'I' ; it
is also needless to know anything; in fact 'knowledge' is
considered a stumbling block. The practitioner drops away
mind, body, knowledge...everything. There is no insight,
there is no luminosity there is only total allowing of whatever
that happens, happen in its own accord. All senses including
consciousness are shut and fully absorbed. Awareness of
'anything' is only after emerging from that state.
One is the experience of vivid luminosity while the other is a
state of oblivious. It is therefore not appropriate to relate
the complete dissolving of 'I' with what u experienced
alone.
Furthermore Nisargadatta Maharaj said:
"Awareness is primordial; it is the original state,
beginningless, endless, uncaused, unsupported, without parts,
without change. Consciousness is on contact, a reflection against a
surface, a state of duality. There can be no consciousness without
awareness, but there can be awareness without consciousness, as in
deep sleep. Awareness is absolute, consciousness is relative to its
content; consciousness is always of something. Consciousness is
partial and changeful, awareness is total, changeless, calm and
silent. And it is the common matrix of every experience."
Anyway the John Wheeler quotes.
John Wheeler (from this week's pointer):
http://www.naturalstate.us/pointers.html
When consciousness dawns upon arising from sleep,
it is simply pure "knowing that I am". It is not individual, and is
in fact impersonal and unlimited. The notion of a limited self or
"me" spins up in the subsequent conceptualizing in the mind after
consciousness has already arisen. But don't forget that your real
position is the ever-present reality on which waking
(consciousness) and sleep (unconsciousness) both appear.
A lot of people come up to the level of
consciousness or recognizing the sense of being and take that as
the absolute. Here they get stuck and mistake the dawn for the
noon, so to speak. The "knowing that I am" or state of
consciousness is the first eruption or modification on the
absolute, eternal state. People generally miss the fact that
consciousness is an intermittent appearance. It is the first
modification on the absolute and the beginning of duality. What
people are often expounding as reality is really the root of the
illusion! What is prior to consciousness — which is what you really
are — cannot properly be named. Whatever term is used is only a
pointer. Sure, it may be pointed to as consciousness, awareness,
being, emptiness, etc. but these are provisional pointers only. In
the end, even these are discarded. Even statements like "I am
consciousness", "consciousness is all there is", "there is no one
here", etc., are only mental concepts. So don't settle for
pointers! Let the pointers go and BE what is being pointed
to.
http://www.non-dualitypress.com/sample/The%20Light%20Behind%20Consciousness_sample.pdf
(excerpts)
Reality Beyond Consciousness
Reality is beyond all characteristics, even of being,
consciousness,
emptiness or any other designation. To ‘awaken’ to your
identity as being, consciousness, oneness, presence,
emptiness
or what have you is still moving in the realm of phenomena
as an imagined entity. Your essential nature is prior to the
sense of consciousness and being. There is something in you
that knows the sense of being conscious and present. That is
your real nature. It is forever unknowable as an object. It
is
beyond being and non-being, consciousness and
unconsciousness.
There is a temptation to take reality to be the sense of
being, presence, consciousness, aliveness or even something
more objective, such as stillness or a peaceful state. But
all
those things are objective. You know them. What you are is
evidently beyond them all.
At some point, there may arise a resonance with the
pointer that there is something prior to consciousness, prior
to being, prior to peace, prior to oneness, prior to
emptiness.
Why? Because all of those, however subtle, are conditioned
states. They are experiences that can be grasped, understood
or recognized. Even the sense of ‘I am’ is an appearance. It
has
appeared upon your true nature. It is the primary concept or
experience, which is the basis of all other experiences.
Without
the sense of ‘I am’, there can be no other experiences. You
are beyond all experience, even the experience of ‘I am’.
At the core of the mind is an empty space, a void through
which the primordial, non-conceptual reality shines forth as
consciousness. The whole world appears in the light of
consciousness.
Consciousness itself is a time-bound, phenomenal
state, an appearance on that unconditioned source which is
prior to consciousness. Reality is non-conceptual awareness
that does not even know that it is. Simply put, you are the
one who is aware of being and of being conscious. That ‘you’
is entirely beyond the body, senses, mind, consciousness and
anything else that can be perceived or conceived. It cannot
be
grasped or even be understood, because it is what you are.
Prior to Consciousness
When you awake in the morning, consciousness dawns.
In this state of being conscious, you perceive a body, mind
and world. These are appearances only, not what you are in
essence. To identify oneself with any of these appearances
gives rise to the notion of being a separate person, self or
individual entity. This is the cause of all seeking,
suffering
and doubts. Consciousness is a state that comes and goes.
In sleep, unconsciousness or under anesthesia, the experience
of being conscious subsides. So it is clearly a transitory
state. However, before you awoke and became conscious
of anything else, including the fact of being conscious, you
existed. Consciousness happened to you who were there to
experience it.
Your fundamental position is prior to consciousness. From
this non-conceptual source, which is what you are, arises
initially
the sense of conscious presence. This is also the sense of
being, the experience that ‘I am’, or the bare fact of
knowing
that you are. This is the first appearance upon your original
state. Little can be said about your essential nature because
it
is clearly beyond all concepts and even prior to
consciousness.
Some pointers that have been used are: non-conceptual
awareness,
awareness unaware of itself, pure being (beyond being
and non-being), the absolute, the unmanifest, noumenon,
cognizing emptiness, no-thing-ness—to name a few.
This non-conceptual essence is pure non-duality or unicity
in which the notions of both subject and object are merged.
Just as the sun does not know light because it is light, so
you
do not know your original nature (as an object) because you
are that. It is forever beyond the grasp of concepts and
subject-
object knowledge. Yet it is entirely evident and inescapable
as that which allows you to say with utter certitude ‘I
am’ and ‘I know that I am’. Even when those words subside,
you are. Even when the consciousness that knows those words
subsides, you are. Consciousness is the light of creation.
But
you are the primordial non-conceptual awareness, being or
‘no-thing-ness’ in which consciousness and all subsequent
appearances come and go.
The Analogy of the Sun
To understand your true nature, consider the sun. Imagine
you are the sun shining in space with no other objects
present. You are present and shining, and yet you see
nothing—
neither light, other objects, nor yourself. Why? Because
you are singular and there are no objects available to
reflect
your light and confirm your presence objectively. Should an
object appear, you perceive your light reflected in that
object
and become conscious of something that appears as other or
apart. In truth, you are only perceiving your own light,
nothing
else. The object is the means for you to perceive yourself
indirectly. The reflected light takes the apparent form and
location of the object. The reflected light may in turn light
up
other objects. The perception of light is time bound because
it lasts only so long as the objects are present. Without any
object, you (as the sun) revert back to your unmanifested,
original condition (that is, the shining sun that sees
nothing
at all, including its own light).
This analogy is parallel to your own original state or true
nature. Your essence is pure non-duality, one without a
second,
which we might point to as non-conceptual awareness
or pure being that is unaware of its awareness and without a
sense of its own existence. When the mind, body and objects
appear, they are perceived as objects in consciousness, which
is the objective manifestation of your innate, aware
presence.
Consciousness is like the reflected sunlight. The state
of being conscious arises along with the body-mind and
appears limited to the time, place and presence of the
bodymind.
The body-mind ‘gives birth’ to consciousness. When
the body-mind subsides, the consciousness of objects also
subsides. Consciousness appears as a transient state on your
original condition. It is intimately tied to the presence of
the
body-mind, which reflects the light of awareness, allowing
consciousness to manifest in a tangible way. With the rising
of the body-mind in our experience, you have the
instruments
to say, ‘I am’, ‘I am present’, ‘I know’, ‘I am conscious’.
So the presence of the body-mind is a necessary requirement
for consciousness to manifest and for awareness to
become aware that it is. Just as sunlight and reflected
sunlight
are really not two separate things, neither are non-dual
awareness
and manifested consciousness actually different. With the
appearance of the body-mind, we become conscious, we know
‘we are’. And with the rise of the sense of being conscious,
all
other objects are then known. Consciousness itself is really
an object or experience, since it is a state that appears to
you.
With the subsidence of the experience of the body-mind,
consciousness
also departs. It ‘returns’ to its source of non-dual
awareness or being. But nothing happens to you at all. In
none
of this have you ever left your original condition. You were,
are and ever must be the timeless, unconditioned, non-dual
being-awareness beyond body, mind and consciousness.
Back to the Sperm and the Egg
Take it back to the sperm and the egg. When they came
together, life-energy infused the fetus and consciousness
began to manifest in that body. Following birth, the sense of
consciousness gradually matured. The world of experience
appeared within consciousness, when you came to know
‘I am’. Without consciousness, there is no world. Clearly,
all things appearing in the field of consciousness, including
the body-mind and everything perceivable and conceivable,
depend on consciousness. They are impermanent and cannot
be the abiding essence of what you are.
What is often missed is that consciousness itself, the basis
of the appearance, is also time-bound. You are that which was
present before consciousness appeared on you. Before
consciousness
appeared, you were, but you did not know yourself
or have any sense of existence. That is the absolute,
non-dual
or perfect state. You often hear that you are consciousness,
presence, the witness or the stillness beyond thought. This
is
only an initial pointer that is useful to free you from a
grosser
identification with the body, mind and personality. But to
stop there and identify yourself as consciousness, presence
or
stillness is an error. Consciousness is not what you are
ultimately.
In fact, consciousness is the initial movement upon the
unmanifest that gives rise to duality. Consciousness is
duality
itself. You are prior to consciousness, prior to being, prior
to
presence, prior to the knower, prior to stillness.
Spirituality
takes place in the domain of consciousness and is in duality.
You are offered things to do, achieve and attain, because
reality
is being viewed through the lens of becoming and time. The
overt or subtle message is that there is some state that you
will get in the future. Abandon all such dubious concepts and
be what you already are—the timeless, inconceivable absolute
that is prior to the body, mind and personality—even prior to
consciousness and being.
Non-Conceptual Awareness
Your true nature is non-conceptual awareness. This is the
necessary ground of all experiences, even the presence and
absence of being conscious (as in waking and dreaming) or
unconscious (as in deep sleep). You are not the appearances
or even the states of consciousness that come and go. You
are to whom they appear. Seeing this, you can drop all the
labels and just be what you are. The term
‘presence-awareness’
is another pointer to your natural state prior to
consciousness.
Consciousness is sometimes referred to as the ‘I
am’ or witness. Presence-awareness equates with
non-conceptual
awareness itself, the absolute, which is what you are.
This is the basis of all appearances, including the sense of
‘I am’. After all, you do not have the sense or thought of ‘I
am’ in sleep. So the sense of ‘I am’ comes and goes. But you
are there in sleep and all states as the basic aware-presence
itself. ‘I am’ and the ego are not the same. Ego is the
notion
of being a separate person, which is based on identifying
oneself as the body, mind and/or personality. When you see
that you are not that concept (the separate person), you see
yourself as the impersonal consciousness or witness in which
all experiences rise and set. But actually, your fundamental
identity lies beyond (or prior to) this. You are the
non-conceptual
presence-awareness in which even the witness and
the world of experiences come and go. That is the absolute or
ultimate state. That is your natural condition even now, for
you are aware not only of appearances, but the fact of being
conscious or witnessing also. So you must be the awareness
beyond all states, experiences and concepts.
The Absolute, Unconditioned Reality
The world of our everyday experience consists of the various
things we sense and interact with, including external objects
and our own bodies. We also experience an internal world
of thoughts and feelings. To experience any of these things
requires the presence of consciousness. How many thoughts,
feelings or experiences could we have apart from
consciousness?
This is a simple point that is usually overlooked. In
non-duality, primacy is given to consciousness as the basic
fact of experience. In fact, at the level of appearances,
consciousness
is what you are, because it is the only continuously
present factor in our experience. The world, mind and
body appear as objects within consciousness. They have no
independent existence apart from being perceived in
consciousness.
To overlook one’s real position as the conscious
knowing presence and identify oneself with the body is due
to a basic misunderstanding, a conceptual error. The body
is an object that appears in consciousness. You are the one
to whom it appears. Essentially, the body, mind and world
are fleeting and insubstantial appearances coming and going
within consciousness. Relatively speaking, consciousness is
more enduring, more substantial and more ‘real’ than the
appearances. Because most of us are ignorantly identified as
the body and mind, a first step in clarifying our identity is
to see our identity as consciousness rather than any of the
objects of consciousness.
Because objects only exist in consciousness and have no
independent reality, we can view them as manifestations or
appearances of consciousness, much as waves have no
independent
reality but are only appearances of the underlying
water which is their substratum. In the wave analogy, all
that
is present is water. The wave is just a label for something
that
appears but has no independent existence as a thing apart
from its source. In terms of consciousness, this means that
the objects (body, mind and world) do not exist as
independent
realities as such. It is consciousness alone that exists.
This
means that there has never been an actual independent body,
mind or world at all. All of those things are only
appearances
of consciousness. All that is truly present in and through
all
experiencing is consciousness alone.
Consciousness itself is not a continuous or unchanging
experience in and of itself. In waking and dreaming,
consciousness
is present, but in deep sleep we do not experience the
fact of being conscious. It is not that we disappear, for
some
presence or essence continues as the backdrop of sleep, and
that something subsequently experiences the re-emergence
of consciousness and its objects. From this perspective, we
can view consciousness itself as an experience that comes and
goes. It is only after the appearance of consciousness that
we
experience the body, mind and world. These are experienced
within consciousness.
Who or what experiences the arising and setting of
consciousness? Consider the moment before consciousness
emerges. No objects are present. There is no time, space or
duality at all. It is entirely unconditioned, non-dual,
without
distinctions. There is no separation, no lack, no suffering.
And
yet that state is, because it is what consciousness arises
from.
Consciousness is a momentary flicker that arises out of the
timeless, absolute source. The body, mind and world appear
within that flicker of consciousness. Consciousness is like a
light flashing on and off within the unconditioned absolute
state. In a certain sense, we might say that the absolute is
what cognizes the coming and going of consciousness. Just as
the world is registered in consciousness, so is consciousness
itself registered in the primal space of reality. That is why
the
absolute is sometimes referred to as the pure awareness that
knows consciousness. It is the light behind consciousness. It
is the source from which consciousness derives its substance
and energy. This source is what the most radical and
penetrating
presentations of spirituality are pointing to as our
fundamental
and essential nature. It is not a state or experience,
because states and experiences only occur after consciousness
appears. Our fundamental identity is prior to
consciousness.
That underlying and ever-present reality is the source which
enables consciousness to be conscious and for being to be, so
to speak.
What is the relationship of consciousness to that prior
source, the absolute? When we looked at the relationship of
consciousness to its objects, we saw that there really were
no separate objects, only consciousness. We can also see
that consciousness cannot stand apart from its source as a
separate independent reality. This means that consciousness
is an expression or modification of the absolute, whatever we
may choose to call that. Consciousness, which contains all
that appears in dualistic experience, is itself a ripple
arising
and setting on the timeless, unconditioned, non-dual state,
which is our true reality. If consciousness is only a
modification
of the absolute, non-dual reality, then consciousness as
such does not truly exist, since it has no actual independent
nature. Consciousness appears but it has never truly existed
as an independent reality. All there is, is the
unconditioned,
absolute, non-dual source. That absolute reality is all there
is, and it is all that we have ever been. There has never
been
anything else except this.
To speak poetically, consciousness is a fleeting ripple on
the
fathomless ocean of the unconditioned, absolute reality.
Consciousness
simply arises and sets as a vibration or pulsation of
the uncreated and eternal non-dual awareness. In that
apparent
ripple of consciousness appear universes, worlds, living
beings and everything within the domain of time and space.
Yet no thing has ever really come to be, because objects have
never existed apart from consciousness and consciousness has
never existed apart from the absolute. That absolute is
beyond
time, space, body, mind, world, being and consciousness. This
is what your true nature is at this very moment—the absolute,
unconditioned reality prior to consciousness.