http://www.tricycle.com/dharma-talk/first-thought?offer=dharma
First Thought
By Dr.
Jeremy Hayward
"In
order to communicate very openly with the world, you need to
develop fundamental trust. This kind of trust is not
trusting“in”something, but simply trusting. It is very much like
your breath. You do not consciously hold on to your breath, or
trust in your breath, yet breathing is your very nature. In the
same way, to be trusting is your very nature. To be trusting means
you are fundamentally free from doubt about your goodness and about
the goodness of others."
When we
trust with our open heart, whatever occurs,“at that very moment
that it occurs,”can be perceived as fresh and unstained by the
clouds of hope and fear. Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche used the phrase
“first thought, best thought” to refer to that first moment of
fresh perception, before the colorful and coloring clouds of
judgment and personal interpretation take over. “First thought” is
“best thought” because it has not yet got covered over by all our
opinions and interpretations, our hopes and fears, our likes and
dislikes. It is direct perception of the world as it is.
Sometimes
we discover “first thought, best thought” by relaxing into the
present moment in a very simple way. Perhaps you are sitting in an
airport looking down from a balcony onto the crowds milling around
below. Suddenly your inner chatter stops. You are right there for a
moment and actually see and hear. You see the pattern of motion;
you hear the hubbub of voices and machines; you have a sense of
timelessness and completeness.
You may
also come into this open state of mind when you are suddenly
shocked. Perhaps you have had the experience of slipping on ice.
Without thought your whole body and mind become unified to prevent
a fall. At that moment you feel completely alive and right there.
Afterwards, you may get a sudden rush of adrenaline and say, “Whew,
that was close,” but the feeling of energy and wakefulness lingers
for awhile.
Although
we call it “first“thought,”” it is not a thought that necessarily
comes in words. It is just the very first inspiration, however it
expresses itself to us. It may just be “aah!” - a sharp gasp as we
come around a corner on a mountaintop and see the valley laid out
below us. Of course, then we immediately start thinking second
thoughts, and third thoughts, like “Oh my, isn’t that beautiful,”
or “How stupid that I didn’t bring my camera.”
The
first moment of awakening in the morning can be an opportunity to
notice “first thought” because our mind is not yet so caught up in
the daily round. We rarely catch the moment when we awaken from
sleep, but sometimes we do. There is a kind of blank in which we
often don’t even remember where we are or who we are. This moment
might be frightening, or joyful, but in either case there is a
vivid perception of the room around us.
I have
particularly noticed moments of fresh perception during an
afternoon of taking photographs. A photograph can capture the
feeling at the moment of experiencing something, just as it is, but
first you must open your mind and see: the afternoon sun glancing
off a bright yellow-green moss-covered rock in the middle of a
clearing in the pine forest; a long horizontal bulbous cloud, dark
with rain, yet brilliantly lit underneath by the evening sun; white
mist over the bay, through which the faint outline of an island, a
boat and a lone seagull suggest something out of nothing; a pile of
steaming cowdung surrounded by yellow dandelions. In order to
capture these moments you look not only at the objects themselves,
but also at the light shining around and within them. Then, putting
the camera down and looking at the ordinary world, suddenly it too
seems bright and vibrant.
When you
take photographs, just before you click the shutter, your mind is
empty and open, just seeing without words. When you stand in front
of a blank sheet of paper, about to make a painting or a
calligraphy, you have no idea what you will do. Maybe you have some
plan for a painting, or you know what symbol you want to
calligraph, but you don’t actually know what will appear when you
put brush to paper. What you do out of trust in open mind will be
fresh and spontaneous. Opening to first thought is the way to begin
any action properly.
The same
process happens, very fast, at every moment of our lives. Whether
we are artists or not, any moment could be experienced as first
thought. We have to touch first thought again and again. There is
no promise of any ultimate point where you don’t have to pay
attention anymore. At the moment you are about to make“any”gesture,
before you actually do it, you can trust and open to “first
thought, best thought.” When we are about to drink a glass of
water, do we just reach for it and grab it and swallow it down? Or
can there be a moment of first thought, clear perception, as we
reach for the glass; and again as we touch it; and again as we lift
it; and again as we move it towards our lips; and again as we taste
the water on our tongue? When someone speaks sharply to us, do we
immediately fire back, or can there be a moment of first thought
before we respond?
Likewise,
when you go about your daily business, make coffee, go to work, use
the copier, attend a meeting, walk down the street, eat dinner,
have an argument with your mate or make love, and so on. If you
open to first thought, each of those occurrences in your
life“could”be fresh and very direct. So often we ignore first
thought - we think it is too silly, or outrageous. We have to be
daring to catch first thought and follow it. First thought can
guide our life, when we trust.
Excerpted
from Sacred World: A Guide to Shambhala
Warriorship in Daily Life, by Jeremy Hayward,
forthcoming from Bantam Books.
Dr.
Jeremy Hayward, a
student of the late Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, is the Education
Director of Shambhala Training International.
Image:
Hazel Stick Throws, © Andy Goldsworthy, Banks, Cumbria, 1980,
fromHand to
Earth, published by Harry N. Abrams. Goldsworthy's
latest book, Stone, is also published by
Abrams.