Right speech during lunch break

DriftingGuy SG

Just want to share some thoughts on gossiping with colleagues during lunch

Based on Buddha's teachings, buddhists should practice "Right speech" and not gossip am i right? The thing is, its hard for me to practice right speech while having lunch with colleagues as we tend to relax and talk cock sing song during lunch break... I mean if I were to really follow strictly on the buddhist teachings then lunch for me will be 80% of the time a silent affair?!

Any views on this?

2009novice SG

Actually there are so many topics to talk about... social issues, world cup etc

If it's about talking bad behind someone's back, for me i just laugh... then some of my colleagues think i am like a intelligent-handicapped person sometimes... lol

DriftingGuy SG

I understand there are many things that you can talk about like world issues etc but some of the those topics can be either boring, too serious etc.. and they want to talk more light hearted stuff and relax during the break...

Weychin SG

We talk to establish our relevance in our social circle, usually small talk about something or another. Everywhere we go, if we are not talking, then we hear chatter all the while, and if we are not talking to each other, we are talking to ourselves !

When talks comes to talking negatively about someone and something, break the chain of negativity by speaking in positive terms or veering to a more positive subject.

Isis SG

Avoid "false speech" that will be breaking the 5 precepts if you have taken it.

From http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/speech.html

Right speech, explained in negative terms, means avoiding four types of harmful speech: lies (words spoken with the intent of misrepresenting the truth); divisive speech (spoken with the intent of creating rifts between people); harsh speech (spoken with the intent of hurting another person's feelings); and idle chatter (spoken with no purposeful intent at all).

In positive terms, right speech means speaking in ways that are trustworthy, harmonious, comforting, and worth taking to heart. When you make a practice of these positive forms of right speech, your words become a gift to others. In response, other people will start listening more to what you say, and will be more likely to respond in kind. This gives you a sense of the power of your actions: the way you act in the present moment does shape the world of your experience. You don't need to be a victim of past events.

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Well, i think it is okay to sing song talk cock but then it also depends on the topic and your intention. If you put yourself in someone else shoes: I don't think you will like being gossiped about... will you?

geis SG

try using this rule during daily discussions: talk about someone as if the someone is present in the conversation.

right speech is about being mindful. its not easy especially with people whom we have a difficult relationship, still its important to keep trying.

it may not be necessary to avoid or run away from our friends once gossip starts, just pay attention and use the opportunity to practice mindfulness. sometimes just by doing this, we can even offer an alternative perspective as a neutral party.

positivity is a habit. its a habit of applying certain previous perceptions and emotions on the current experiences. the mind naturally does not prefer negative thoughts over positive ones, but the attachment is grown over consistent reinforcement. one of the most important condition affecting the mind is the environment, and the more predisposed the mind is to negative environments, the more used to negativity it becomes.

ahjenn SG

it'll work only if your lunch mates are also concerned about right speech. if the majority are gossip mongers, either keep quiet ourselves and avoid participating, or try to steer them into other more wholesome topics.