Aware of it, Stop it,
Reason with oneself for abandoning it, Use empathy,
remorse, repentance and compassion to calm the mind, Observse
its rise and fall.
Recall and understand it better
when the mind has calm down. (writing down helps)
Example:
========
I'm not angry at the moment, so I can't tackle the details well,
but I roughly recall what I did as follows:
When anger arises, be aware that it has risen. Try to catch it as
early as possible.
Try to stop it from developing further by thinking of the
following:
1) Anger is an afflictive emotion that creates the worst negative
karma, which is undesireable.
2) It develops due to how we perceive the situation with
biasness.
3) Patience is one of the paramita to cultivate.
4) Right speech is one of the Noble Eightfold Path to
develop.
5) The situation presents the best condition to practice Patience
and Right Speech, and also, test my progress in cultivating
them.
6) Everyone seeks our own happiness, and most often in the wrong
way, so conflict and wrong actions occur.
7) Am I right? I cannot be, since self-cherishing (egoism) has
caused anger to rise in me.
If still cannot control my anger because my mind keeps
self-justifying and blaming the other party, then I'll do the
following:
8) Even if he is wrong, it's because he seeks happiness, like I
do.
9) I'm never always right too. (Arise empathy.)
10) Both of us have created negative karma which will ripen as more
suffering for ourselves n the future.
11) Arise remorse, repentance and compassion for oneself and
others.
12) Pray that all be free from suffering and the causes of
suffering.
13) Dedicate the merits gained from stopping anger from developing
further towards conquering anger better the next time through
perfecting Patience and Generosity (letting go of
self-cherishing).
14) Make a resolve to catch anger earlier the next time through
better mindfulness.
** During the entire process, observe how it rises and/or fades
away.
** When the mind as totally calm, recall what causes it to rise and
fade, and how it rises or fades. Understand it and the process
better to prepare for the next time.
I tried many times before being able to be more mindful of the
rising of my anger (due to aversion and attachment) and stopping it
before it develops further. Still need more practice, but I think
handling it this way helps.
Anyway of eliminating it totally even before Enlightenment (m:
totally won't arise)??????
==================================================================
All beings experience afflictive emotions unless they have attained
the Awakened Mind which is free from delusions.
Taming the Mind (Goal of the Dharma)
==============================
Afflictive emotions => build in strength with unmindful
practices => become unwholesome habits
Remedy:
Mindful practices of abandoning
afflictive emotions => become wholesome habits => Mind
tamed
Hope the above is helpful to
you. If not, then, the main thing is to remember that the
consequences of being angry is never really helpful or sweet to one
or the other party.
May you be happy and well
always!
With Mani,
Kim