Loving-kindness meditation (metta) is an antidote for hatred and
anger. Practice it over the years, you can find your own anger,
resentment lessened. Needs to be instructed by a qualified
meditation teacher.
Yes metta helps. Being more self-awared, mindful of your bodily
action, speech and thought could help one avoiding unwholesome
actions and to be clear-headed. If you can, you can try generating
compassionate towards the people who have harmed you. Those people
who have deliberately attempted to provoke you, are also your
parents and friends in the past life. They have also been kind to
you. No one in the world is bad or good. It is a matter of
perspective These people have done something good for others and
perhaps even for you before.
Patience is the main antidote to anger. As common wisdom says:
just count to 100... During this time, any of the below methods can
be effective. The most effective method will depend on the actual
situation. Especially in our age of rush and intense change,
patience may not be seen as a positive quality, but take a minute
to think impatience can easily give rise to a general feeling of
anger.
Patience is like a beautiful ornament. When you become a person
with great patience, it brings a certain element of charm to your
life. You are loved by others, and you give no problems to your
friends. You bring an element of joy, happiness, and calmness to
other people's lives - your friends, your family, and the
community. You do not have to ask to be accepted; everyone longs
for your presence. Everyone looks up to you and respects you, not
because you have worked for that or expected it, not because you
were competing for their favor, but simply because of the nature of
patience. You are respected and trusted, and you acquire dignity
with the practice of patience. When you are honored, it is with
sincerity, and it is something you can live up to.
...Just hearing about patience does not mean you are
experiencing it now or will easily develop it. To lay the ground
for training the mind, you must first tame the mind. To tame the
mind, it is extremely important to do the basic shamata
[tranquility meditation, calm abiding] practice, which develops
calmness and tranquility. Then you can add the practice of
patience, understanding the benefits of patience and reminding
yourself to take advantage of the available antidotes.
From Dharma Paths by Ven. Khenpo Karthar
Rinpoche
