Ven. Dhammika posted an
interesting post today:
http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/2008/05/gay-tragedy.html
A Gay Tragedy
Occasionally someone, usually a
young man but sometimes a young women
or an older man or women, will approach me and after a few minutes
of
hesitation or beating around the bush, ask me what the
Buddhist
position on homosexuality is. When they do, I tell then that
intentional actions (kamma) modify consciousness and that our
kamma
conditions our future.
Positive intentional acts have
positive effects (vipaka) and negative
intentional acts have a negative effect. Sexual acts motivated by
the
usual intentions, feelings and emotions which exist between two
people
who love each other, would have a positive effect and would
not
infringe the third Precept, whether they be homosexual or
heterosexual. I underline this point by saying that Buddhist
ethics
about sex are primarily concerned with the motives behind out
sexual
behavior, rather than the gender of our partner. This being so, if
two
people of the same gender express their love for each other
physically
there is no good reason why the kamma this creates should be
any
different from when two people of the opposite gender do the
same.
Having said this I then try to change the subject, not because I
am
embarrassed talking about homosexuality, but because I do not like
the
`single issue' approach to Dhamma. However, a few years ago I had
an
encounter which made me realize that inquiries about
homosexuality,
whether from gays themselves or their families, should be given
my
whole attention. However theoretical or marginal this issue may be
to
me it is likely to be of considerable import to the people who
ask
such questions.
A young man named Julian rung me
asking if he could come and talk to
me about Buddhism. I said he could and on the appointed day and
time
he came. Julian turned out to be about 20 old, of slight build
and
with pleasant features. He was well groomed and neatly dressed.
He
started by asking me a few questions about some aspects of
Buddhism
but I sensed that these were not really what he was interested
in.
Finally the question came, "Venerable, can a gay person be a
good
Buddhist?" I gave my usual reply but it soon became clear that
this
did not please him. He kept interjecting and expressing doubts
about
what I said. I answered all his objections but he remained
unconvinced.
Arriving at a deadlock and not
knowing what more I could say I asked
him if he was gay. He blushed, cleared his throat and said that
he
was. Then he told me his story. Since his early teens he noticed
that
he was attracted to other boys and had a particular interest
in
woman's clothes. Horrified by these feelings he kept them well
under
control. A year ago while doing his national service he had
met
another soldier who was gay and since that time they had been
having a
relationship, although a guilt-filled and fugitive one. Once or
twice
a month they would pool their recourses and book a hotel for
the
night. He would dress in woman's clothes, put on makeup and they
would
spend the night together. For Julian at least, this would be
followed
by days of self-loathing and resolutions never to do it again.
After
he had finished telling me this he hung his head and said, "This
must
be wrong." "Well," I said, "some people would find it a bit
strange.
But from a Buddhist perspective I really can't see that it is
particularly harmful. Satisfying sexual urges is a perfectly
natural
thing to do and it is acceptable where it does not involve adultery
or
harming others.
The conflict you create within
yourself by hating what are completely
harmless feelings hurts you much more than being gay ever could.
There
is no reason why you can't practice the Precepts – respecting
the
life, the prosperity and the sexual feelings of others, their right
to
know the truth and keeping your mind free from intoxicants –
while
being gay." He was silent but I could see that I had not been able
to
still his doubts. Julian visited me two more time over the next
two
month and our conversations were about the Dhamma in general
although
we also went over the same territory concerning homosexuality
with
very much the same results.
Then, after not having seen or
heard from Julian for nearly six month
I got a call from him. He told me that a famous Taiwanese monk was
in
town giving a series of talks and that he had managed to get a
few
minuets with him. He had asked the monk the same question he had
asked
me and the monk had told him that homosexuality was a filthy,
evil
thing and that homosexuals get reborn in the lowest hell where
they
are boiled in excrement for eons. Julian said this with in an
almost
triumphant tone, seemingly glad that he had proved me wrong or that
he
had found someone who agreed with him. I asked him what else
this
venerable monk had said. "Nothing," he replied. "He was going
somewhere and only had a few minuets to talk."
How often has this happened to me?
I have told an inquirer something
about Buddhism which I know to be sound, sensible and in
accordance
with the Tipitaka, they go to another monk who tells them the
exact
opposite and then they come back to me asking me to explain
the
anomaly. Then I am stuck with the problem of either saying that
the
other monk doesn't know what he is talking about (which is often
the
case) and appearing to be an arrogant upstart, or biting my
lip,
saying nothing and letting the person go away with yet
another
half-baked notion or superstition thinking that it is Dhamma.
How
often? Very often! In most cases this is just frustrating. In
this
case it had tragic consequences.
"Look Julian" I said, "You asked
me what Buddhism would say about
homosexuality and I told you based on my 20 years of studying
the
Buddhist scriptures and thinking about various issues in the light
of
the Buddha's Dhamma. I don't know what else I can say." I told
him
that if he wanted to talk with me at any time he was welcome to do
so
and then we hung up.
Four days later I was browsing
through the paper and a small article
tucked away on the eighth page caught my eye. The heading read
`Man's
Body Found in Park.' I scanned the article briefly and was about
to
turn to something else when the name Julian sprung out at me. In
an
instant my attention was riveted. I read the part where this
name
appeared and sure enough it was about the Julian who had come to
see
me. I returned to the top of the article and read it all the
way
through. Four days earlier, perhaps only a few hours after ringing
me,
Julian had gone to a park in the centre of Singapore late at
night,
taken an overdose of sleeping tablets and been found dead the
next
morning. A suicide note had been found in his pocket but the
article
did mention what it said. I was overwhelmed by sorrow. The thought
of
him lying there utterly alone, hating himself and in such despair
that
he would kill himself almost made me cry.
But soon anger was welling up
through the sadness and diluting it
until it had completely replaced the sadness. I pictured the
Taiwanese
monk blithely dispensing his ignorant and ultimately toxic
opinion
before rushing off to give a sermon about compassion or receive
the
accolade of the crowd. I became so angry that I resolved to write
him
a letter and tell him what he had been responsible for. Then I
thought
it would probably be a waste of time. He probably wouldn't
even
remember talking to Julian.
It seems to me that most
thoughtful people would agree that sex
without love is a pretty unattractive thing. Physically, it is
little
more than `exchanging fluids' as the AIDS awareness literature
so
delicately puts it. What lifts sex above the fluids exchange level
is
the motives and emotions behind it – affection, tenderness, the
desire
to give and receive, the bonds of companionship, fun even. This
fits
well into the Buddha's famous statement, "I say that intention
is
kamma." Is sticking a knife into someone a positive or a
negative
action? It depends! If the knife was held by an enraged violent
person
it would probably be negative. If it is held by a surgeon
performing
an operation to save someone's life it would certainly be
positive.
From the Buddhist perspective, sexual behavior is not judged
primarily
by the gender of the people involved, by the dictates of a code
of
behavior drawn up in the Bronze Age or by whether a legal document
has
been signed, but by its psychological components.
Homosexuals are as capable of
wanting and of feeling love and
affection towards their partners as heterosexuals are and where
such
states are present homosexual sex is as acceptable as heterosexual
sex.
This is a simple and logical truth
and it is in accordance with
Buddhist teachings but circumstances were such that I was unable
to
help Julian see it. All his experience had told him that
being
attracted to people of the same gender is wrong. Those around him
had
always expressed disapproval towards homosexuality and sniggered
at
gays. The law (in Singapore) told him that homosexuality is so
heinous
that it must be punished by 10 years imprisonment, more than
for
manslaughter. He knew that religious teachers, Christian, Muslim
and
even some Buddhists, consider it so evil that it will have
dreadful
consequences in the life hereafter. All this denigration and
ignorance
prevented him from hearing the gentle, reasonable and kindly words
of
the Buddha. It caused him inestimable suffering and finally drove
him
to suicide.
I am reminded of Julian because
three weeks ago I represented Buddhism
in a seminar on religion and homosexuality at Catholic Junior
Collage
(Boy! Haven't Catholic collages changed!). Of the 800 students in
the
audience I assumed that a certain number would probably be
homosexual
and may be struggling to understand their feelings. Knowing that
what
I said may well have something to do with them growing up either
happy
and well-adjusted or tortured and self-loathing, I did took great
care
to explain the Buddhist position on homosexuality
I am posting this because its worthwhile to share .As Buddha
Sakyamuni usually meditated on the level of his Assembly ,and He
always know when to stop when the Dharma seeker will feel
uncomfortable.It doesnt matter if it is Mahayana or Theravada
master ,We just shouldnt say harsh word to the Dharma-seeker
.
Homosexuality are seems as a unacceptable social behaviour ,but
I really feel one should empathise as many of them come from broken
families and family in dispute.
Many of my friends have left the "gay" circle ,and as creative
people in the Arts circle and soon setting up families
Thats the reason why I always use Twisted Emotion as the thread
on Homosexuality
Its nothing to be condemned as long as they do not commit more
grave offense like matricide , patricide ,destroying the sangha
,homicide or stealing of the Sangha property
any comments ?
