缘 is not something mysterious or difficult to understand.
It is simply phenomena that is caused by the ripening of
conditions. It is when suitable conditions congregate that
the phenomenon can be resulted. When even one of these
conditions fail to exist, then no matter what, that particular
phenomenon cannot happen.
It is important to note that 缘 is not the action; it is just the
right conditions. Therefore it is not passive. We
cannot sit around and wait for 缘 to happen.
For example, if somebody wants to commit suicide, we cannot say
that we leave it to his destiny whether he dies or not. His
intention to die is formed because the right factors are there, and
so there is 缘, but by executing his intention, he is actually
creating the next 缘 to happen, and that 缘 is that he'll go to
hell. If he always does good deeds or practise Dharma, then
before he's about to kill himself, there just might be one thought
that comes to him, telling him about the illusory nature of all,
and that single thought could just be the factor causing
the conditons to die to fail.
When a love one passes away, we should look at it in similar
fashion. The conditions for him to live have simply stopped
to exist, so how could he live? And thus your 缘 with him has
ended, as simple as that. Any breakups in a relationship
should also be looked upon as such. The conditions for him to
love you or for you to love him have vanished, maybe because of
lack of communications, which causes the right conditions for a
beakup.
When spreading the Dharma, when the right conditions (缘) do not
exist, no matter how we preached, it'll never go into their
ears. For us, we understand that the right condiitons do not
exist and so we should not be too pushy or 執着. But at least
we sow the seeds in their mind so that in their future rebirths,
somehow these seeds will ripen and together with the right
conditions, they'll practise the Dharma.
When talking about 缘, we should not forget about the 因. 因
is the action, or thinking, that causes the 缘 to happen. If
we attribute everything to 缘, and we live passively, then what is
going to contribute the the future 缘? And thus we must always
be mindful of our present actions and be confident that it'll
affect our 缘 in the future. At the same time, when things do
not go our way, we note that the right conditions are not there and
we remind ourselves not to be 執着.
I hope I'm not being long-winded here. Metta.
因缘...we are a participant in it..past present or creating the
future..direct or indirectly...