BTW you sure is 'girlfriend' and not just 'friend'? You said
just now that they are just 'friends'.
anyway... if it regards a family's relation... both parties must
try to be tolerant.
http://www.jenchen.org.sg/vol6no3c.htm
Mutual respect begets harmony
How may a family whose members have different religions live
together harmoniously?
One common principle that mankind all over the world abides by is
the freedom of choice of religion and faith. A country may have
different religions co-existing at the same time, such as Buddhism,
Catholicism, Christianity or Islam. But, we have to understand that
it is the condition arising from love that causes people to have
families, parents and children. It is a good thing if the family is
happy and blissful. However, if the family members bear different
faiths, so long as each member keeps his faith to himself, refrain
from slandering or debating over each others faith, but mutually
respecting each others faith and character, then the family will
naturally be harmonious.
Further, the younger generation ought to refrain from arguing with
their elders because it is their parents who brought them up.
Moreover, there is no purpose in arguing with them. We have to
practise filial piety and be good so that we do them proud. Then,
they will feel that their children are righteous, well behaved, and
may willingly join us to learn about Buddhism. This will be ideal.
Otherwise, it is not filial to constantly argue with them. When we
learn and practise Buddhism, we have to exercise wisdom. With
regards to differences in religions and faiths, as long as we
maintain mutual respect, I believe, the family will be
harmonious.
Freedom in choice of religion
If the children of a Buddhist family choose to marry a person of a
different faith, will the marriage work out well?
Although a person may be a Buddhist himself, it is not necessary
that his children must also Buddhists. We may, of course, promote
and encourage our children to embrace Buddhism. However, we cannot
force it upon them. Moreover, we should not object to their
marriage just because their partners are from a different
faith.
In this present age, everybody has the freedom to love and choose
his or her own lifetime partner. Similarly, everyone has the
freedom of choice of religion and faith. No religion can compel its
followers (and their dependants) to only believe in that particular
faith, and object to marriages outside that particular faith. I
believe, as parents, with regards to their childrens marriages,
the primary concerns are the relationship between the two parties
and how to guide their children in deciding their lifetime
partners. Religion and faith are secondary factors; it is their
happiness after the marriage that matters most of all. It would be
useful for parents to counsel their children about the code of
family ethics, such as the role and responsibilities of a husband
and wife, and how to be good parents themselves. If they do not
know how to live harmoniously and fulfil their responsibilities as
husband and wife, or to be good parents, even if both of them
believe in Buddhism, the marriage may still not work out well. If,
for instance, the choice partner believes in a different faith, as
a parent, one may promote the teachings of Buddhism so that he or
she finds it acceptable. It will, of course, be good to establish a
household based on the principles of Buddhism. If, meanwhile that
cannot be achieved, one should adopt the Buddhist teaching of
loving-kindness, compassion and equality towards all beings, in
relation to the son-in-law or daughter-in-law. It is a good thing
for a couple to bear the same faith and share the same principles
and values, with both cultivating together and becoming partners on
the Bodhi-path. It would be even better if they were eventually
reborn in the Buddha-land.
