Buddhism and corporal punishment

Beyond Religion SG

Anyone knows if Buddhism frowns upon corporal punishment? Any specific scriptural guidelines?

I am a 'old school' parent and I believe firmly that we will spoil the child if we spare the rod. So usually if my children fail to heed a few stern verbal warnings and rebukes, I will break out the cane.

Ps. I don't think there is any negative emotion on my part when I cane my kids... I don't cane them because I am angry at them (or angry at anyone for that matter). In fact, I have to force myself to be stern and have to harden myself everytime I deliver a stroke, and it always pains me immensely during the caning and afterwards... But I know that I have to do this for their own good.

bohiruci SG

Read up on this articles

the capital punishment is a slightly heavier aspect

but worth reading

http://www.engaged-zen.org/articles/Damien_P_Horigan-Buddhism_Capital_Punishment.html

bohiruci SG

when u do things for their own good it is the practice of Bodhisattva spirit
but do not attached to what u have done for them Smile

An Eternal Now SG

I don't think Buddha gave any specific guidelines on things like corporal punishment so I think it is presumed that the parents should use what they think is the best method to educate their child, if necessary things like caning. But perhaps someone more knowledgeable can share on what I do not know.. I think it also depends on how well the children will respond to various punishments.. for example the method of punishment used at certain age (like when the child is younger) may not work well when the children grow to a different age. Have to use wisdom to judge. Cane can only be used for so long.. but may be necessary at certain times.

The alternative way without using corporal punishment is to speak to the child of all the possible consequences and outcome for not obeying your warnings so they will understand why you ask them not to do this or that.. i.e if you continue to eat so much chocolates then you will get very sick. And tell them they eventually have to learn to make the choices for themselves and understand the consequences. They have to learn the basics of cause & effect. If need to, let them taste the consequences themselves for once.. then they will know what to do the next time. Of cos it depends on what situation it is and not all situations is suitable.

Because I am not a parent.... and I have little experiences in these things so most of the others wld be more experienced and suitable to answer.

Beyond Religion SG

Thanks all for sharing. I am mindful not to let any negative emotion lead to me caning my child, but it didn't occur to me that the caning, though not resulting from my own negative emotion, actually generates these emotion when I carry the pain afterwards.

I don't have to cane my girl very often as she is receptive to verbal warnings and explanatins. My son, on the other hand, only understands the cane. Exclamation

sinweiy SG

here's my 2 cents:

i was taught not to emphasis on controling the child but emphasis on teaching the child. yet i don't really believe in friendship relationship between mother/father and child. as what if the child grow to not "befriend" the parent. parent should still have the power over the child.

parent should promote respecting school teacher while school teacher should promote filial piety. hence the job of both parent and teacher go hand in hand.

its also good that mother and father set good examples for the child's learning progress.
but i scare the bad companies outside is too overwhelming. hence foundation of morality/ethic is very important to be established when young(below 10). rather than teach meaningless things like little cat jump over the wall etcs.

i'm not sure if this punishing/canning thing is still workable for the long run, in the more and more Democratic society. punishing/canning works because it was still not so Democratic yet. now, if Democracy were to go to the extreme, where everyone wants self right, then i don't know...there might be a twist in how we might teach children.
just a note, if punishment don't work, try the reverse psychology of shang shi jiao yu (rewarding education) :
http://sg.search.yahoo.com/search?p=%E8%B5%8F%E8%AF%86%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2&sm=All+The+Web&fr=FP-tab-web-t&toggle=1&cop=&ei=UTF-8

there's this interesting idea by a master, when the child misbehave, let the child see that the father wants the mother to punish him instead(something like that).
as in San Zi Jing:

if the child see his/her father/mother's care and loving kindness, will he/she not change?

imho,
/\

Taiwanpolitics SG

Originally posted by sinweiy:
here's my 2 cents:

i was taught not to emphasis on controling the child but emphasis on [b]teaching the child. yet i don't really believe in friendship relationship between mother/father and child. as what if the child grow to not "befriend" the parent. parent should still have the power over the child.

parent should promote respecting school teacher while school teacher should promote filial piety. hence the job of both parent and teacher go hand in hand.

its also good that mother and father set good examples for the child's learning progress.
but i scare the bad companies outside is too overwhelming. hence foundation of morality/ethic is very important to be established when young(below 10). rather than teach meaningless things like little cat jump over the wall etcs.

i'm not sure if this punishing/canning thing is still workable for the long run, in the more and more Democratic society. punishing/canning works because it was still not so Democratic yet. now, if Democracy were to go to the extreme, where everyone wants self right, then i don't know...there might be a twist in how we might teach children.
just a note, if punishment don't work, try the reverse psychology of shang shi jiao yu (rewarding education) :
http://sg.search.yahoo.com/search?p=%E8%B5%8F%E8%AF%86%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2&sm=All+The+Web&fr=FP-tab-web-t&toggle=1&cop=&ei=UTF-8

there's this interesting idea by a master, when the child misbehave, let the child see that the father wants the mother to punish him instead(something like that).
as in San Zi Jing:

if the child see his/her father/mother's care and loving kindness, will he/she not change?

imho,
/\

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I have many chinese books at home .