Ok I won't ask you why you can't love him.
Is he someone that you have to meet frequently in your day-to-day
life? If not, just let him go. Dont need to avoid him purposelly.
At the same time, dont seek him out either. Occupy your time with
activities that will take your mind elsewhere. It will still hurt
for a while, but you will get over the aching in time.
If on the other hand, he is someone that you cannot avoid, then it
gets a little more complicated. I would suggest seeing the
relationship from the following angles:
You cannot be in love with someone till you spent a lot of quality
time together. By quality time, I mean the time you two spent
opening frankly up to each other on your feelings, likes &
dislikes etc. Quality time will also include the down side of a
relation
I believe that a persons true nature can only be
revealed in bad times. Until this happens, you may be in love
only with a mental construct made up by yourself (based on your
notion of an ideal lover, and the projection of his outward
characteristics), rather than the actual person that he is.
The lust side of things is actually pretty simple to manage
Whenever I see a pretty lady and felt the first stirring of lustful
desire. I just need to imagine the ladys appearance 40years down
the line
. Works better than a cold shower. I am not sure this
technique will work on man, since man goes by a different yardstick
to women when it comes to physical attractiveness etc., but it is
still worth a try...
To feel for someone is a good thing, but if you take that feeling
to an extreme, it then becomes an obsession, an attachment and a
fetter...
May you be free of your suffering
May all beings be free of sufferings
