It takes practise.. it's not possible for one to stay attentive
for long periods initially.
btw... today I just read an article called 'Going Against the
Flow'. Thusness recommended me to the teachings of Upasika Kee and
said that she is a remarkable lay teacher quite a long time ago..
but I haven't read the teachings till today.. I come across this
article by Upasika Kee.
Also using thoughts to battle thoughts is not going to work. It is
not the right way.. Thoughts can only add on to new thoughts, it
can change behaviors, patterns, etc, but it cannot witness itself,
it cannot free itself. It is only through mindfulness that one can
be freed from it.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/kee/theflow.html
The principles of self-investigation are our most important
tools. We have to make a concerted effort to master them at all
times, with special emphasis on using mindfulness to focus on the
mind and bring it to centered concentration. If we don't focus on
keeping the mind centered or neutral as its basic stance, it will
wander off in various ways in pursuit of preoccupations or sensory
contacts, giving rise to turmoil and restlessness. But when we
practice restraint over the sensory doors by maintaining continuous
mindfulness in the heart, it's like driving in the pilings for a
dam. If you've ever seen the pilings for a dam, you'll know that
they're driven deep, deep into the ground so that they're
absolutely firm and immovable. But if you drive them into mud,
they're easily swayed by the slightest contact. This should give us
an idea of how firm our mindfulness should be in supervising the
mind to make it stable, able to withstand sensory contact without
liking or disliking its objects.
The firmness of your mindfulness is something you have to maintain
continuously in your every activity, with every in-and-out breath.
The mind will stop being scattered in search for preoccupations. If
you don't manage this, then the mind will get stirred up whenever
there's sensory contact, like a rudderless ship going wherever the
wind and waves will take it. This is why you need mindfulness to
guard the mind at every moment. If you can make mindfulness
constant, in every activity, the mind will be continuously neutral,
ready to probe and investigate for insight.
As a first step in driving in the pilings for our dam in other
words, in making mindfulness firm we have to focus on neutrality
as our basic stance. There's nothing you have to think about.
Simply make the mind solid in its neutrality. If you can do this
continuously, that's when you'll have a true standard for your
investigation, because the mind will have gathered into
concentration. But this concentration is something you have to
watch over carefully to make sure it's not just oblivious
indifference. Make the mind firmly established and centered so that
it doesn't get absentminded or distracted as you sit in meditation.
Sit straight, maintain steady mindfulness, and there's nothing else
you have to do. Keep the mind firm and neutral, not thinking of
anything at all. Make sure this stability stays continuous. When
anything pops up, no matter how, keep the mind neutral. For
example, if there's a feeling of pleasure or pain, don't focus on
the feeling. Simply focus on the stability of the mind and there
will be a sense of neutrality in that stability.
The pilings for the dam of mindfulness have to be driven in so
that they're solid and secure with your every activity. Keep
working at this no matter what you're doing. If you can train the
mind so that stability is its basic stance, it won't get into
mischief. It won't cause you any trouble. It won't concoct
thoughts. It will be quiet. Once it's quiet and centered, it'll
grow more refined and probe in to penetrate within itself, to know
its own state of concentration from within.
As for sensory contacts, those are things outside appearing only
to disappear so it's not interested. This can make cravings
disband. Even when we change positions as pains arise in the body,
the mind in that moment is stable, focused not on the pains but on
its own stability. When you change positions, there will be
physical and mental reactions as the circulation improves and
pleasant feelings arise in place of the pains, but the mind won't
get snagged on either the pleasure or the pain. It will simply stay
stable: centered and firm in its neutrality. This stability can
easily help you abandon the cravings that lie latent in connection
with all feelings. But if you don't keep the mind centered in
advance like this, craving will create issues, provoking the mind
into a turmoil, wanting to change things so as to get this or that
kind of happiness.
If we practice in this way repeatedly, hammering at this point over
and over again, it's like driving pilings into the ground. The
deeper we can drive them, the more immovable they'll be. That's
when you'll be able to withstand sensory contacts. Otherwise, the
mind will start boiling over with its thought concoctions in
pursuit of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile sensations.
Sometimes it keeps concocting the same old senseless issues over
and over again. This is because the pilings of mindfulness aren't
yet firmly in place. The way we've been stumbling through life is
due to the fact that we haven't really practiced to the point where
mindfulness is continuous enough to make the mind firmly centered
and neutral. So we have to make our dam of mindfulness solid and
secure.
This in itself will bring about true mastery over the sense
doors. At first, when we started out, we weren't able to exercise
any real restraint over the eyes and ears, but once the mind
becomes firmly centered, then the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and
body are automatically brought under control. If there's no
mindfulness and concentration, you can't keep your eyes under
control, because the mind will want to use them to look and to see,
it will want to use the ears to listen to all kinds of things. So
instead of exercising restraint outside, at the senses, we exercise
it inside, right at the mind, making the mind firmly centered and
neutral at all times. Regardless of whether you're talking or
whatever, the mind's focus stays in place. Once you can do this,
you'll regard the objects of the senses as meaningless. You won't
have to take issue with things, thinking, "This is good, I like it.
This is bad, I don't like it. This is pretty; that's ugly." The
same holds true with the sounds you hear. You won't take issue with
them. You focus instead on the neutral, uninvolved centeredness of
the mind. This is the basic foundation for neutrality.
When you can do this, everything becomes neutral. When the eye sees
a form, it's neutral. When the ear hears a sound, it's neutral
the mind is neutral, the sound is neutral, everything is all
neutral because we've closed five of the six sense doors and then
settled ourselves in neutrality right at the mind. This takes care
of everything. Whatever the eye may see, the ear may hear, the nose
may smell, the tongue may taste, or the body may touch, the mind
doesn't take issue with anything at all. It stays centered,
neutral, and impartial. Take just this much and give it a try.
Do read the whole part when you're free 
