Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
Yes the thought of repentance, of shame, is a right thought.
However it should not be attached to.... just like Buddhists should
not be attached to right and wrong.. the Buddhist saying goes
'Shan4 Er4 Jie1 Fan2 Nao3'.. meaning whether right or wrong, if
attached to, it will lead to sufferings.
But since repentance is right.. we shouldn't suppress such thoughts
either. I mean when you recognised that you made a mistake... it is
good to repent. It would even be better if you can repent in front
of the Buddha... my dharma teacher repents 108 times everyday in
front of Buddha, prostrating each time she chants the repentance
verse.
When we repent, we just recognise that we ought not to make the
same mistakes. But if the 'wrong' is identified with 'self', it
becomes guilt. Anyway you say you wish to lose the sense of
restrain and abandon all cares in the world and just be.. yes, you
can abandon the cares of the world any time. That doesn't mean you
cannot be a responsible person.. don't you think? I mean
responsibility doesn't necessarily equate to attachment, or am I
wrong? It is only because you are identified with it, there is
suffering.
And of course the Bodhisattva is the perfect example... the Diamond
Sutra stated,
[b]The Buddha told Subhuti, "All
Bodhisattvas, Mahasattvas, should subdue their minds thus: 'I must
cause all living beings--those born from eggs, wombs, moisture, by
transformation; those with form, those without form, those with
thought, those without thought, those not totally endowed with
thought, and those not totally without thought--to enter Nirvana
without residue and be taken across to Cessation. Yet of the
immeasurable, numberless, boundless numbers of living beings thus
taken across to Cessation, there is actually no living being taken
across to Cessation. ' Why? Subhuti, if a Bodhisattva has an appearance of
self, others, living beings, or a life, he is not a
Bodhisattva." (more such quotes from Diamond
Sutra can be found in "excuse me, are you a Bodhisattva?")
The true Bodhisattva has the HEAVIEST burden and responsibility in
the world. And yet, to him, that is not a responsibility.. because
he is not attached to "an appearance of self, others, living
beings, or a life".
As for 'To be responsible, i practise suppression my own desire.',
well, if what you do is considered inconsiderate to others... and
you cannot help it but suppress your own desire, then do so.
Because otherwise it may not be morally right.. it just depends on
the situation at hand. Wisdom is required. But suppressed desires
will strike back, it is better to remove the root of it - because
suppressing is like putting a rock on the weed to stop it from
growing but not killing it. To be totally free is to severe the
attachment completely.. to disidentify with forms, appearance,
'self'.
Also if one's thoughts is not morally right, one must also look
into it and repent. You said 'it may be against your ethics'... if
that is so, it may be better you drop any desires that will be
'against your ethics'.[/b]
Moral values are very subjective topics.
But im so tired inside.. i don't think that there is a need for me
to be so responsible at all times. Note the 'so'.. I recongise that
there is a need for a balance-view between my own needs and others.
and yes AEN, i think im having serious attachment to it.. perhaps
to the point of being prudish
Either do i think that i will be happy if i also cause harm to
people.
but how to practise let go one a time.. i feel like letting it go
all at the time.. it seems the most natural thing to do now
