The most ignorant is yourself, because you become identified
with his stupidity, and started the fight:
The human beings seventh
mind-consciousness is the I. Because of I, it gives rise to
my. Because of me, it gives rise to self-attachment, followed
by attachment of perception such as I like it this way
or I
like it that way
In the end, people become attached to
everything, be it right or wrong. This is the root cause of
distress and suffering. Ignorance means darkness and without
brightness. People lose their temper because of ignorance. If we
investigate the reason for being angry, at the beginning most
people will blame it on others. On further investigation, we will
discover that the anger stems from self-ignorance. When we have
understood this principle, we will realize that these are due to
this I (seventh mind-consciousness, transient-invisible body).
Therefore if we allow it (the ignorance) to further develop and
lead according to the wishes of this I, we will certainly descend
to a lower realm of life, because the root of this I is
ignorance.
- Ven. Shen Kai
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In reality, it is not due to the
change in that persons behaviour, although that looks like the
actual cause for you to get angry. It depends on your mind. For
example, when the other person is angry, if at that time your mind
is filled with compassion wishing that person to be free from
suffering and problems, especially if you have strong compassion
thinking: I want to make that person free from all of his/her
problems, then that helps to have a positive mind, to keep the
mind in peace.
For example, when a person hits you with a stick, there is no point
at getting angry with the stick, as it is in the hand of the
person. There is no sense at all to get angry towards it. Like the
stick, the person has no freedom. The person is completely a slave
to anger, completely controlled by anger. So this person does not
have the slightest freedom. The person is being used by anger.
He/She is only the object of compassion. So when we think like
this, compassion arises, pity, wishing for the person to be free
from problems. Therefore generating compassion, especially taking
responsibility to free this person from anger, thinking, What can
I do to help to free this person from being used as a slave by
anger? Even though you cannot help now, you can still pray to be
able to do so. In this way, no matter how angry he/she is, it
doesnt affect you: even though they may constantly insult you. So
how anger arises is not dependent on how the person
behaves.
- Lama Zopa Rinpoche
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BTW i sent you an sms, but you didn't reply, have you changed your
number?
