Seems like there's so much you're struggling against, and that
is kind of tiring you out. I believe what you expressed here is
only a small part of what you're going through. It's not easy for
anybody to have to deal with own problems, yet still needing to
live up to other people's expectations, and I suppose it would help
if people around us were a bit more understanding.
Even for you to be posting this in the forum, sharing about your
stress and difficulty, takes quite a lot of courage, that's quite a
big step! 
At this point there's nothing much I can do for you, but I will
keep you in my prayers. Stay strong, and just as how you took the
risk to post in this forum, do be courageous and seek professional
support. Stay strong. All the best.