Yes, I agree with you on this 
When we talk about 'ghost marriage', its not just a simple thing as
it seems, marriage with a spirit partner. In the case of spirits
disturbing someone - it is a sign that the spirit is ATTACHED to
the person. By continuing this attachment, both parties suffer. Not
only will the spirit not be able to leave the realm, the 'human'
person may risk falling into the spirit realm after life. Therefore
you need to know the dharma and kindly ask the spirit not to be
attached to the past.
Therefore the only ultimate solution to this is the LIBERATION of
the spirit itself... from the attachments and from that realm
itself. Which is why every 7th month, we dedicate the merits of
offerings to the sangha and the ullabanadharma puja/ksitigarbha
puja/etc to the spirits. Every 7th month you can go to a Buddhist
monastery and dedicate merits to the deceased & 'yuan qing zai
zhu' & any spirits that disturb you. In this way, spirits can
be liberated from the spirit realm into the higher realms and be
able to be reborn as a human again. If spirits disturb you again
and again, you may need to find a Buddhist Venerable to seek advise
and help from.
Many people misunderstood the purpose of Ullabanadharma - they call
it the 'Ghost Festival', which is erroneous. Some people think
Ghost Festival is a time where hell gates open and we have to burn
paper money/hell notes so that the spirits will receive the
material benefits. But in reality spirits do not use currency or be
able to receive any material benefits from it all. Not only does
this not work at all, even the idea of 'giving material things' to
spirits is insufficient. In order to liberate spirits from their
sufferings we must liberate them from the realm itself! I have
posted a few times on this.
http://www.jenchen.org.sg/vol5no1a.htm
Ullambana Dharma - not Festival of Hungry
Ghosts
By Venerable Shen-Kai
According to a popular Chinese
superstition, ghosts are released from hell in the 7th month of the
Chinese calendar for a one-month break in the human world. In order
to appease them, animals are slaughtered and offered to these
'hungry ghosts', together with other food. Big feasts and other
festivities are held during this month and the most 'auspicious
day' is the 15th day of the month. It is so widespread that this
yearly affair is dubbed the Month or Festival of the Hungry Ghosts.
What is this all about?
Among the chief disciples of the Buddha was one named
Maudgalyayana. He had immense supernatural powers: Deva-foot
ubiquity which made it possible for him to appear at any place at
will, the divine sight of Deva-eye to have unlimited vision of all
things, large and small, near and distant; Deva-ear to hear all
sounds regardless of the distance. Furthermore, he had the ability
to read and understand whatever was in a person's mind. He also had
the ability to see clearly the events that occurred in a person's
many past lives aeons ago. Thus, Maudgalyayana is considered to be
a Maha-Bodhisattva who is foremost in supernatural powers.
One day, his Deva-eye saw that his deceased mother had
transmigrated to the realm of the hungry ghost. Her stomach was
enlarged and she had tiny limbs. Her throat was as small as the eye
of a needle, and as a result, it was impossible for her to eat any
food or even to swallow a drop of water. Maudgalyayana could not
bear the sight of his mother in such an extreme state of suffering.
He immediately filled his alms bowl with food and with the immense
power that he possessed, he sent it to his mother. However, she
could not have the food because each time it turned into charcoal
before she could put it in her mouth. It hurt Maudgalyayana to see
what was happening and because of his strong emotion for his
mother, it hindered his ability to see the karma that she had
committed in her past lives. He went to Buddha for advice. The
Buddha closed his eyes and entered into pure contemplation. With
great compassion and gentleness, he said: "Maudgalyayana, your
mother did not believe in the retributions arising from the law of
cause and effect. She committed many evil deeds. She dishonoured
the Buddha and insulted the Sangha [1], had no respect for the
Three Treasures (Buddha, Dharma and Sangha), was greedy, filled
with hatred, ignorant and arrogant. She was a wicked person who
committed many evils, and she teased others giving them no peace.
Therefore, she is suffering such a bitter consequence. Even though
you are her son and your filial piety touches the heavens, these
are still not able to save a person who had committed such serious
evil karma." On hearing this, Maudgalyayana wept in pain.
Notes
1. Sangha
The corporate assembly of at least 3 monks; in general the term has
come to mean a monk, or monks.
2. Bodhi
From budh; knowledge, understanding; perfect wisdom; the
illuminated or enlightened mind.
The Buddha continued to console him, "It is impossible to rely
solely on your own effort to save your mother from the realm of the
hungry ghost. The only way is to use the combined merits of the
Sangha. The 15th day of the 7th month of each year is designated
"Buddha's Joy Day". This is the last day of the Sangha's summer
retreat, and because of the purity with which the Sangha observed
the precepts and practised cultivation, many attain the Bodhi [2].
The merits that they accumulate are immense beyond imagination, and
the Buddha is most delighted. If you make an offering to these
Sangha during this time, you can liberate your deceased parents and
relatives from the suffering of the three evil realms (realms of
animal, hungry ghost and hell) through their immense merits. If the
parents are still living, then they shall be blessed with good
health, happiness and a life of abundance. This is the truly
marvellous method of giving salvation to the deceased."
Maudgalyayana was delighted to hear this, and carried out the
Buddha's advice accordingly. Thus, on the 15th of the 7th month
after the offering to the Sangha, Maudgalyayana's mother was
liberated from the suffering of the realm of the hungry
ghost.
To give offering to the Sangha in this way is called the
'Ullambana' method. After Maudgalyayana received the benefits from
this Dharma, he was very grateful to the Buddha and praised the
merits of the Three Treasures. He advised people to promote the
'Ullambana Dharma'. This day, the 15th of the 7th month, can also
be considered an occasion to express our gratitude and filial piety
to our parents and ancestors. Unfortunately, the passage of time
saw a gradual erosion in its understanding and purpose, so much so
that this special occasion is not performed in accordance to the
Dharma. Today, this auspicious celebration has become a day of
widespread slaughter of animals to be used as offering to the
hungry ghosts. The original act of performing offerings to the
Sangha has become a day for feasting and making offerings to the
hungry ghosts, often referred to as 'to invite the good brothers to
a feast'. These practices are not only against the compassion of
the Buddha, but also a let down to Maudgalyayana who had advised
the world to be filial and to perform good deeds.
