Hi fellow Buddhists,
My Christian bf recently had a vision of me bald and wearing a
nun's Buddhist robes. It stunned me because I was formerly told by
a fortune teller (who uses the "ba zhi" and "san si shu" to see the
past, present and future lives) that I would attain eternal
happiness if I leave my parents and seek refuge in Buddhism.
(somewhat indicating that I may renounce a secular life and become
a nun)
It worries me because although I have converted to Christianity, my
faith seems to remain pretty strongly in Buddhism. I converted on
my own accord because I believed that God or my Creator healed me
when I was unwell (my bf encouraged me to pray to God). Personally
I believe that God appears in many forms, one of which is Buddha.
But I just can't identify with what is written in the bible, no
matter how hard I try. On the other hand, I can agree and accept
the teachings in Buddhist books, and the image of Buddha and
Goddess of Mercy instils a feeling of calmness and well-being in
me, even when I'm upset, agitated or feeling down.
For the past few months, I have been struggling with an internal
religious conflict within me. Somehow I feel as if I'm in no man's
land. Even though I'm a Christian, but I don't feel nor behave like
one. And my bf's persistently trying to pull me back to church and
cell group, but I feel a strong resistance against his attempts.
It's straining our relationship.
Quite troubled about it now...
