Flare's Mini Reviews

Ominous Flare SG

So, to show my passion for films, I thought I'd share some of my 'Mini in-a-nutshell reviews with you guys. Hope you would enjoy them.

Traitor (2008): Better than the previews/trailers made it seem. Solid tension, intrigue and performances. Co-written by Steve Martin - yes, that one. MATINEE PRICE WORTHY

Babylon A.D.: Really had potential. Tries to take on some big themes and fails to hold them all together. Plus, worst ending ever! RENTAL WORTHY

X-Men (2000) It's aged pretty well (still entertaining and 'not lame' today). Solid adaptation skillfully crafted by Bryan Singer. Quality acting, writing, directing were synergized. REGULAR PRICE WORTHY

Gran Torino: "Falling Down" meets "Bad Santa" meets "Karate Kid". Unique characters, semi-predictable story, ballsy filmmaking. REGULAR

Slumdog Millionaire: "Usual Suspects" meets "City of God" meets "It's a Wonderful Life." At times bleak, but overall hopeful. REGULAR

Rollover (1981): 1980s banking collapse would-be thriller. Really dated (unrelevant to our time). It's like a "Lifetime TV" style drama. But, there are some interesting 2008 economic parallels. RENTAL

I Know Who Killed Me: It won 9 Razzie awards, has a boring story idea, weird cinematography, horrible acting, and no tension/suspense - Don't waste your time and see it when it's EDITED FOR TV. Turn it up in the background while you're doing something interesting.

Factotum (2005): Matt Dillon soars as pseudo Charles Bukowski, but the 'drinker/smoker/self-destructive writer' thing is kinda out of date. MATINEE

The Cell (2000): It's "Nightmare on Elm Street" meet "The Matrix" meet "Law and Order". Has a standard story, amazing visuals and imagination - REGULAR

Strange Days (1995): This is a James Cameron written action/thriller and semi-remake of 1983's "Brainstorm". Has racism, 'apocalypse-ism', and is relevant today - MATINEE

Paul Blart: Mall Cop: Don't ask why I paid for this Die Hard would-be spoof. Has generic characters, situations, and predictable laughs. RENTAL

Castaway (1986): This inspired "Lost" and proved that audiences are smart and patient enough to watch a dialog-light story of an Island stranded guy. REGULAR

Max Payne: A video game adaptation that looks great but feels forced. Has a cliche backstory, bad guys and twists. Cool ideas made boring. MATINEE

~ Flare

Ominous Flare SG

The Matrix - It was on TV; had planned to watch it for 10 minutes, then 20, then 30, then it was over. Revolutionary visuals and ideas. REGULAR

Repo: The Generic Opera - Wants to be a "Rocky Horror" cult classic, but falls short. Great ideas and visuals, but bland characters and songs. MATINEE

Milk - Harvey did for Gay Rights what Martin Luther King, Jr did for African American Rights. Solid biopic with typical structure. Sean Penn is great! MATINEE

Tropic Thunder - Apocalypse Now meets Bowfinger. Good idea; has solid acting, great jokes, gags and spoofing. Ambitious and refreshing. REGULAR

Brainstorm (1983) - War Games and Strange Days owe homage to this big on ideas, average on execution sci-fi drama about mind recording. RENTAL

The Eavesdropper (2004) - Straight to DVD X-Files-ish, Sci-Fi Channel drama about a deaf woman who "tunes" into people's thoughts. RENTAL

Reservation Road - "Lifetime TV" style drama about tragic hit and run and lives affected. Has a great cast, acting, and exploration of guilt and anger. MATINEE

Things We Lost in the Fire - A husband's death affects all in his life. Has good acting, good directing and good explorations of addiction and recovery. MATINEE

Miracle Mile - 1988 drama about a dude trying to get to his girlfriend before a nuke hits L.A. Sounds like... Cloverfield... and, it is! RENTAL

Escape From New York - Classic John Carpenter's New York as a massive prison of a dystopian future jailbreak adventure. Outdated but fun. REGULAR

Night of the Creeps - 1986 campy alien-zombie-teen-comedy-horror - and it almost pulls all those genres off. Fun, bloody... but dated. RENTAL

Number One - Darren Aronofsky's "The Wrestler" owes a lot to this Charles Heston aging Brett Favre-ish football drama forgotten gem. MATINEE

Number One (1969) - Darren Aronofsky's "The Wrestler" owes a lot to this Charles Heston aging Brett 'Favre-ish' football drama forgotten gem. MATINEE

The Mothman Prophecies - Basically a 2 hour X-Files episode. Definitely creepy but kinda slow. Great overall direction and climax. MATINEE

No Reservations - RomCom? Drama? DramCom? It's sad, it's funny; it's sad, it's cute? Goodhearted and has good food, but kinda cliche and uneven. RENTAL

The Savages - An unflinching quiet look at the theme of aging, changing, growing and family. Great acting, 'invisible directing', good writing. REGULAR

Righteous Kill - It's an excuse for De Niro and Pacino to act tough before they were forced to remake Grumpy Old Men. Has no tension and it's predictable. RENTAL

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Wow. Iconic, epic, has ambitious genre defining/re-defining filmmaking. Oh, who could forget about the music! Great stuff. REGULAR

Surviving the Game - Good idea that "Hostel" owes a lot to. Great set up - hunting humans for sport - but has a predictable story execution. MATINEE

Ominous Flare SG

The Godfather II - What more can be said about this? Epic in all areas: filmmaking, characters, emotion, etc. This is what sequels should be like: better than the first! REGULAR

Vicky Christina Barcelona - Not all that funny, but is actually a nice exploration of art and love. Woody Allen has gotten serious. MATINEE

Unforgettable - Cool idea - injecting memories of other people - for 1996! It's a big screen X-Files episode for "Lifetime TV". RENTAL

Ghosts of Mars - A rare John Carpenter miss! It's a mishmash of his 70s and 80s action hits mixed with vampires and bad acting. EDITED FOR TV

Pale Rider - A simple quiet story. Part remake of Shane, part sequel to High Plains Drifter. The religious overtones add nice metaphors. MATINEE

X-Men 2: X-Men United - Again, this is what sequels should be like - staying faithful to the first while taking it to the next level on every level. REGULAR

Scream - The Pulp Fiction of slasher movies takes a syringe of creative adrenaline and injects it into the dead heart of the genre - REGULAR

History of the World: Part 1 - Mel Brooks spoofs 1957's "The Story of Mankind." Dated jokes, kinda slow, with moments of brilliance. RENTAL

Inglorious Bastards - Typical rag-tag WWII commandos story made interesting because of the unique, engaging, and fun characterizations. MATNIEE

Appaloosa - Ed Harris adapts, directs and co-writes this Western to the big screen. Solid work, but adds nothing real new to the genre. RENTAL

Carnal Knowledge - Sounds a lot steamier than it really is. Sort of like Chasing Amy... without the lesbians. Risque for its time - MATINEE

Choke - A touching mother and son dysfunctional relationship tearjerker warped through Chuck Palahniuk's sadomasachistic satire. MATINEE

The Mack - The 'Blax-ploitation' version of Scarface, except with pimps. Funny, wise, heartfelt, great dialog, solid acting. Classic! REGULAR

Watchmen - Solid but flawed. Focuses on pleasing fanboy expectations. Great visuals, faithful storyline, but light on emotions. REGULAR

Two Lovers - Quiet, steady; a character-based exploration of love. Great performances, avoids cliches, discovers uncomfortable truths. REGULAR

Ominous Flare SG

In Bruges - Unpredictable, cliche-breaking character based drama following two hitmen dealing with the ramifications of their choices. REGULAR

Miss March - Late 90s Farrelly Brothers gross-out style laughs for the 2000s as shock replaces emotions. Makes you laugh, not feel. MATINEE

Some Girls - Early roles for Jennifer Connelly and Patrick Dempsey in this uneven eccentric 'dramedy' (drama-comedy). Slow, heartfelt and unpredictable. RENTAL

Johnny Mnemonic - So bad it's good. Has cheesy lines and (cheesy) acting and wacky characters. It's a cool idea that seemed futuristic but it'd be considered silly today. EDITED FOR TV

1984 - V For Vendetta owes a lot to this solid adaptation. Creates so complete a reality you feel the boot stepping on your face. REGULAR

Enemy of the State - Portrays the X-Files 90s "They're watching me" tech paranoia that Eagle Eye and The Echelon Conspiracy owe a lot to. Fun. MATINEE

The Proposition - An Australian Western! Cowboys and Aborigines! Interesting, engaging, slow, bloody, character based, existential. MATINEE

From Noon Till Three - A cliche breaking, genre reinventing Western/Romantic/Comedy. Unpredictable and funny with social commentary. REGULAR

Quarantine - A remake 1 year after the original? Kinda sad. Worst of all, it's not better than it! Booooooring till the last 15 min. RENTAL

Extreme Movie - A straight to DVD Kentucky Fried Movie/Robot Chicken-style boundary-destroying teen sex comedy.Well deserved title. MATINEE

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo - The title says it all! So bad it's good; it's a guilty pleasure and makes a solid drinking game - EDITED FOR TV

The Santa Clause 3 : The Escape Clause - Gave it 10 minutes; watched the rest in fast-forward and didn't miss anything! EDITED FOR TV

Alfie (1966) - Michael Cane as a young man! And he's not that nice of a guy as he explores life and dating in a no B.S. kind of way. REGULAR

Sneakers - An all-star cast in a geeky version of Oceans 11 and a prehistoric version of Eagle Eye. Good acting chemistry. Light fun. MATINEE

The Descent - Takes a while to get going; but once it does, it does everything right. All female cast breaks horror conventions. REGULAR

Perfect Upset - Documentary about the 1985 NCAA B-Ball Villanova victory over Georgetown. Standard documentary filmmaking with inspiring story. MATINEE

Stardust Memories - Woody Allen searches for meaning in life, the purpose of art/movies and sanity in relationships. Creative and funny. REGULAR

Human Trafficking - Pretty hardcore for a "Lifetime TV" movie! But so-so acting and forced camera work distract from the material. MATINEE

Ominous Flare SG

Funny Games - Seemed like it was a Clockwork Orange torture porn rip off, but it's about the nature of watching film. Unpredictable. REGULAR

Dancer in the Dark - Bjork is pretty great, the story takes some bold twists, musical numbers are creative, but character motivations seemed forced.

Eastern Promises - Steady and quiet. Just brings the viewer into a world and lets the characters be who they are. Violent, but not exploitative. REGULAR

Live Free or Die Hard (a.k.a. Die Hard 4.0) - An inspiration for Eagle Eye; it has outrageous action, 2-D characterization, and John McClane becoming McBain - MATINEE

Eagle Eye - Has great car chases and a timely message/theme. Shia plays himself yet again. Defiles story logic. It's The Game meets 2001 - RENTAL

Click - A Christmas Carol meets "TiVo". Safe, predictable, shoulda' had more balls, but still, dogs humping stuffed animals is funny - RENTAL

Casino Royale - Bond is less Hugh Hefner, more John McClane; a dude who bleeds, hurts and loves. Great Parkor, boring Poker, no Q! - MATINEE

Magnolia - Epic ensemble drama at its daring yet uneven best! Tom Cruise's best performance. Paul Thomas Anderson has mad skilz - REGULAR

Mirrors - Good idea, great sets, but bad dialog, laughable acting, lack of motivation and illogical. It's a 'Japanese-Snor-ror' - EDITED FOR TV

Deja Vu - Denzel phones it in. The timetravel/looping stuff is okay. Predictable and is a case of 'Movie-ja Vu'; as you watch this, you'll feel like you've seen this kind of movie before - RENTAL

Hancock - Bad Santa meets Superman. Will Smith is great - too bad the story isn't. No strong opponent means a boring final 45 minutes - MATINEE

What Happens in Vegas - For a movie that uses gambling as a life metaphor, it doesn't take many story/genre risks. Some LOL moments - RENTAL

Rest Stop 2 - 'Indie' horror. Texas Chainsaw meets The Hitcher. Has close up torture porn moments and average acting/directing - EDITED FOR TV

Sex & the City - Great if you've seen the TV show. On its own, it's kind of an annoying study of four highly materialistic women - RENTAL

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of Crystal Skull - Great to see Ford back in action, has an ambitious storyline/idea. But, also has flat characters, too much CGI, and not enough emotion. Indy doesn't grow, Shia plays Shia (again), Karen Allen is underused. Feels out of sync. RENTAL

Deal - Texas Hold em' themed coming of age/redemption story. Has by the numbers filmmaking, low budget/expectations and poker star cameos - RENTAL

Iron Man - Batman Begins-ish structure. It tries to be Batman Begins, but doesn't have a big enough reach. Robert Downey Jr. plays Stark perfectly. He's perfect as a millionaire playboy. Great visuals, cliche villain, great ending. REGULAR

Vacancy - 8mm meets Psycho meets Hostel. Decent acting, creepy setting, interesting idea, but, it's predictable and cliche - RENTAL

Hard Candy - Misery meets Funny Games meets Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator. Surprising, disturbing, engaging. MATINEE

You Don't Mess with the Zohan - Wayyyy funnier than expected. Over the top, silly, but most importantly, hilarious! REGULAR

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Was expecting comedy magic; instead, found it to be a solid, lighthearted RomCom (Romatic Comedy). More chuckles than LOL moments. RENTAL

9 Songs - Last Tango in Paris covered this territory without the explicit visuals shown here. It's not exploitative - it's just not engaging. RENTAL

Star Trek II - Wrath of Khan - One of the best movie villains ever in THE best Star Trek movie. Don't have to be a Trekkie to enjoy. Proves that special effects are secondary to drama and character relationships. KHANNNNNNNNN!!! MIDNIGHT SHOW WORTHY (so good you'll have to catch the first midnight show if there's ever a re-screening)

All the puns have been used. "What Happened", "What's Happening"...etc. The idea is great, but the movie execution is embarrassing - EDITED FOR TV

No, it's not gay porn. This Clive Barker straight to FearNet feature is Hostel on a train. And Predictable. RENTAL

13 Tzameti - Interesting idea. Hostel meets the Russian Roulette scene in Deer Hunter. Needs more close ups for emotional impact - REGULAR

The Strangers - Saw meets Vacancy. Simple story, simple setting, very creepy. Great filmmaking, but feels like basic tortue porn - MATINEE

Eyes Wide Shut - Kubrick's last movie, Kidman and Cruises' last film before their divorce. Steady, long, creepy, erotic - MATINEE

The Departed - Scorsese doing what he does best: crime, expletives, sex, betrayal, Rolling Stones music and plenty of headshots - MATINEE

The Hoax - A safe, by the numbers character based story about a down and out writer who writes a fake autobiography to make money - RENTAL

The Hitcher - Sigh, another sh*tty remake of a great original. Last line of this version sums it up: "I don't feel anything." - EDTV

Perfect Stranger - A 2 hour episode of Law and Order made for Lifetime TV. Plenty of twists, some too forced. Halle Berry is hot. - RENTAL

Find Me Guilty - Feel good Courtroom Dramedy (Drama-Comedy) that seems like it's a made for a Hallmark Channel project. Very safe territory. - EDITED FOR TV

Freddy vs Jason - What's there to say. Does it have Jason, Freddy, sex and gore? Yes? Okay then, it delivers. Decent, not great. - RENTAL

Jumper - Interesting concept that turns into an excuse to have a 'visit the 100 places to see before you die' list. Fun but not fantastic. - RENTAL