NO SEX TONIGHT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting into
bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to
hear......"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman,
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I
told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you..........she was so excited. She must
have thought
I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to
play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's
fine,honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
