There are times like now, when I prefer to write with my mind
shut. Rely on what then? Pure, solid, rubbishy, yet beautiful blind
faith.
Isn't it wonderful that sometimes in life, there exists some
Higher Being whom we can look up to, to love, to worship, and to
respect? Like as if He exists, yes, He most probably does not
exist, still, what a beautiful way to live an insane life, rather
than to succumb to some rock-born theory like the Monkey God who
proclaims himself a saint and is born from a rock.
Parentless, Ownerless, without a single care in the world, but
also without a single person to care for him in return.
Monkeys born from rocks are truly invincible, yet, as I learn in
my seek of a religious truth, the truly fortunate ones are the
ordinary blokes on the street like you and me, because only
ordinary people can do two things:
- Surrender to humility that he is imperfect
- i FORGOT THE OTHER, I'M SORRY.
Yes I am arrogant bastard when I deal with rogues at home and at
workplace, underneath the bedsheets I am an incorrigible wolf, but
during ordinary brightly lit days, I too take the public transport,
rush to interviews, and surrender to futility or fatigue when the
day is over.
I am really ordinary.
And tonight, I am endowed with faith, comnig from seemingly
nowhere, yet, preoccupied with one simple blind truth -- where
there is unhappiness, suffering and suffocation, to that place i
will.. i mean I intend to go, even if it makes little difference
but to just give people some fresh air.
My zen teacher, assuming I am a Buddhist tonight since I was a
Muslim
this afternoon, taught me something basic:
"Don't be too naive. You think you have a good heart and want to
help people. But when u see the ugly faces of people, u certainly
will feel like giving up. Unless.. unless.. in the deepest corners
of my heart, I have enough nerves, reserves of strength, and the
unimaginable compassion which only the Omnipresent will have"
To blind faith tonight I surrender, and I believe it is a good
calling.