Accept the Truth: Singapore Elite are
‘Supermortals’
Posted on Wednesday, January 21,
2009
Topic:
Local News
by Nyonya Kway
The Gahmen has asked Singaporeans not to overreact to MP Charles
Chong’s statement that “lesser mortals” might just have been
envious when they groused about civil servant Tan Yong Soon blowing
$46,000 (more than most citizens’ annual salaries) on a cooking
holiday in France.
“I’m sorry if people got offended, but it’s just the truth,” said
Gahmen spokesman Chin Ah Tas, defending Mr. Chong. “Everyone is a
lesser mortal next to us elites, because we are
supermortals.”
Flicking his lustrous locks and adjusting the straps on his Versace
blouse, Mr. Chin said that citizens just have to accept the social
hierarchy in Singapore. “There are mortals like you, then there are
supermortals like us, and above us, the Supreme Being.”
Securing the heel straps on his Jimmy Choos, Mr. Chin refused to
accept any intimation of arrogance. “Look, Linda Evangelista said
that supermodels ‘don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day’. At an
average of $1.6 million a year, we wake up at less than $5000 a
day. It’s peanuts! Singaporeans are getting a bargain!”
Mr. Chin told the press that if they wanted to continue pursuing
this story, they would have to do this through their agency, Elite
Mortal Management.
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! My eyes! My eyes!! 
