this is a dig at the mandate. hahahahahahahahahahahaa
MORE DATING TIPS FROM THE PM
Posted on Tuesday, August 19,
2008
Topic:
Local News
by Nyonya Kway
So the Prem Binister offered all of us dating tips during his NDP
Rally speech.
We looked at the chick he’s been dating, and wondered “Hmmm!” for a
while about his qualifications to give the rest of us advice, then
decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then one of our moles sent us a list of more dating tips from the
PM which didn’t make it into his speech:
1. Can’t find a girlfriend? Have your dad convene a high level
committee to scour the country for a suitable woman.
2. Learn to be a good conversationalist. Hire a team of PR
consultants and spin doctors to come up with things to make you
seem approachable, amiable and appealing, e.g. “Would you like to
come up to my place some time to see my salary?”
3. Be chivalrous. Always have your security guards open the door
for your date.
4. Be considerate of your girlfriend’s feelings. When she’s lost
yet another few billion dollars, don’t say things to make her feel
bad. Be supportive, and ask her to try again.
5. Dress to impress. Tell your PR consultants to design suitable
outfits for all occasions for you – suits lah, red polo tee-shirt
and white pants lah, all-white ensembles lah… then get some
columnist in the State’s Times to gush about how hamsum you
are.
6. Take her out to new restaurants and try exotic new dishes. You
know, like mee siam with hum.
7. Charm her with compliments, e.g. “Wow, who does your hair?
Sergeant Muthumanniam at Nee Soon Camp?”
8. Tantalize her with a hint of some sexy secret, e.g. “You know
what secretly turns me on? Slapping.”
9. In this age of equality, it’s no longer required to insist that
you pay for your date’s dinner. Why, she might develop a crutch
mentality.
10. Be imaginative! Send her gifts that tell her how you really
feel. Oh, like a chairmanship to a GLC.
11. Sometimes it’s good to maintain an air of mystery. For
instance, every now and then suggest that you’re not actually in
charge and that “someone else” is really running the country.
12. Don’t be shallow. Learn to appreciate her inner beauty.
