I couldn't imagine that I would shortly be eating that. It's
kind of like when you first found out what hot dogs were made of
and thought you could never eat another as long as you lived.
Certainly an unsettling experience, but something we all get over.
Just like I got over looking into a bowl of ground bacon.
The next step was to form the bacon into patties. Originally I was
planning on making one monster patty, but realized it would be
nearly impossible to cook it all the way through. Raw pork and the
human body don't agree with each other so well. So, I made two
thinner patties:
The one on the right was significantly thicker than the one on the
left, but I was so proud of my work that I couldn't re-form them. I
decided to practice with the large patty, learn from my mistakes
and ideally perfect the thinner patty. To the best of my knowledge,
nobody had done this before. I was venturing into uncharted
culinary waters. I felt like the Christopher Columbus of
bacon.
Method:
Here's the first, thicker patty cooking:
As expected, the first burger was a bit of a disaster. The patty
came apart in a few places and was spitting hot grease at me
continously. It was like a king cobra defending its territory, only
with hot grease instead of venom. Tasty, tasty venom. I was able to
perfect a method of flipping the bacon patty utilizing two
spatulas.
There is a lapse in pictures here. The only explanation that I can
offer up is that I had inhaled a few days worth of sodium from the
cooking fumes and was not thinking straight. I think I am the first
person to have freebased bacon. Unfortunately I don't have any
pictures of the second, thinner patty cooking. Nor are there any
pictures of the many puddles of grease on my stove that later
joined forces to form a grease lake.
Without further ado, I present The Bacon Cheese Baconburger:
