TalkingCock.com interviews the Chairman of the Ministry of Hum
Affairs’ new Anti-Complacency Campaign, former head of the
Singapore Police Force’s Jaga Division, Deputy Assistant
Commissioner Wongkan Singh.
TalkingCock: Good afternoon, Mr. Singh. What’s
this campaign about?
Mr. Singh: Well, like the Minister Dementor said,
Mat Alamak escaped because Singaporeans are becoming more
complacent…
TalkingCock: Not because a certain Gahmen
department was incompetent for not being able to monitor a lone man
at a urinal, install a grille in a window, and activate the closed
circuit TV cameras at the highest security detention centre on the
island?
Mr. Singh: Well, it was the social complacency
that bred the incompetence. Every Singaporean must share the blame
for this. After all, it is the collective comfort of the country
that bred the mentality that led to Mat Alamak’s escape.
TalkingCock: Chope, if we’re to share the Gahmen’s
blame, can we also share your salary?
Mr. Singh: (laughs) No, no… that would breed an
entitlement mentality.
TalkingCock: We’re not entitled to seek some
financial compensation for having our lives put at risk, thanks to
failures of people whose salaries we pay, at very high rates some
more?
Mr. Singh: Look, Home Affairs has made a big
mistake, yes, but they’ve also done a lot of good. We must
appreciate the overall picture and not take our criticisms too
far.
TalkingCock: Isn’t that being complacent?
Mr. Singh: Look! Behind you! Is that Mat
Alamak?!
TalkingCock: (turning round) Where?!
Mr. Singh: Oh, sorry. Just a bird. What was the
next question?
TalkingCock: Um… so. This campaign. What’s it
about?
Mr. Singh: Well, we need to address our national
complacency in a way that’s appropriate for Singapore, and what’s
more appropriately Singaporean than a campaign? After all, we’ve
been very successful in our campaigns.
TalkingCock: Yes, thanks to your successful
campaigns, people are now more courteous, they’re having more
children and also speaking good English and many other
things.
Mr. Singh: And just as with other campaigns, we
will feature mascots to drive home the message. For the
anti-complacency campaign, we will have a scaredy cat and paranoid
puppy named ‘Kiasu’ and ‘Kiasi’ respectively.
TalkingCock: Are you sure you’re not actually
trying to get Singaporeans into a constant state of anxiety?
Mr. Singh: Why would we want that?
TalkingCock: Well, when people are anxious,
they’re also more obedient, more likely to seek stability in things
that they know… like, you know, the Gahmen.
Mr. Singh: Well, yes, that would be good if people
trusted the Gahmen more.
TalkingCock: Trusted them even though they have
majorly cocked up?
Mr. Singh: Uh, yes.
TalkingCock: Isn’t that being complacent?
Mr. Singh: Why can’t you just copy the press
release like normal reporters?
TalkingCock: Sorry. So what you’re saying is we
have to be paranoid about everything except the competence of our
Gahmen.
Mr. Singh: Yes.
TalkingCock: But why?
Mr. Singh: Because if you don’t, we’ll get
you.
TalkingCock: We certainly don’t want that to
happen. I’m feeling anxious already.
Mr. Singh: That’s good. Anxiety is
non-complacency.
TalkingCock: So anxious I need to use your
toilet.
Mr. Singh: Don’t take too long.
TalkingCock: Don’t worry. I only need 11 minutes
or so.
