#5 Casu Marzu
From: Sardinia, Italy.
What the hell is it?
This, dear reader, is a medium-sized lump of Sweet Fucking Christ.
Casu Marzu is a sheep's milk cheese that has been deliberately
infested by a Piophila casei, the "cheese fly." The result is a
maggot-ridden, weeping stink bomb in an advanced state of
decomposition.
Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the
air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while
eating. The taste is strong enough to burn the tongue, and the
larvae themselves pass through the stomach undigested, sometimes
surviving long enough to breed in the intestine, where they attempt
to bore through the walls, causing vomiting and bloody
diarrhea.
Wait, it gets worse ...
This cheese is a delicacy in Sardinia, where it is illegal. That's
right. It is illegal in the only place where people actually want
to eat it. If this does not communicate a very clear message,
perhaps the larvae will, as they leap desperately toward your face
in an effort to escape the putrescent horror of the only home they
have ever known. Even the cheese itself is ashamed; when prodded,
it weeps an odorous liquid called lagrima, Sardinian for
"tears."
Danger of this turning up in America:
There is significant danger here, as we're thinking the cheese
companies have a lot of maggot stock in the back of their warehouse
they'd like to get rid of. And, there may actually be a market for
it. Self-loathing is a powerful force in this economy (see the diet
section of your local supermarket) and there's times you get low
enough that, damn it, you feel like you deserve nothing better than
infested cheese.
