Well, the concept of PUNISHMENT was instilled at a very young
age. My wife will gently slap my boys on their laps when they were
as young as 6 mths. It is not harmful, but to show these infants
that they cannot suka suka thrown tantrum.
Every child is an attention seeker and as long as they get their
ways, they will continue to push their limits.... so it is up to
each parent to answer the question: where is the limit?
My wife and I are in agree to the limits where we allow our boys to
behave. Some of these limits are just common sense issues, eg
safety, politeness, respect (people and property) etc.
Young children DO NOT UNDERSTAND REASONING - as far as they are
concern, the universe revolves around them. They will need to learn
that there are other bigger issues other then themselves, and if
they have to learn it the hard way they will. From gentle reminders
to a slap on the hand to the cane.... they will need to know that
the result of their failure to comply will be painful (sounds very
draconian, but for me, it works).
By the time they understand concepts of behaviour and discipline, I
will begin with reasons. If they accept, all's well. However they
will continue to look and attempt to breach the boundaries. When
boundaries are breached, reminders will be given. If these
reminders are ignored, then out comes the cane.
I stopped caning when they have to ability to be responsible for
their actions.
My boys are in Sec 2 and Pri 5. I don't ever need to chase them to
finish their homework, even when there's no adult at home in the
afternoon. They are both student leaders in their school and
represent their schools in their respective CCAs.
While I support caning, caning is NOT the only solution. Bringing
up a child, the child is paramount - by NOT disciplining the child
is doing a disservice to the child. Discipline can take many forms,
caning is only one of the forms. It does not have to be used, but
it also must not be discounted. When used correctly it is a very
powerful weapon to have and the child must not have the assumption
that the parent is too afraid to use it.
