gag before going to sleep 
A redneck wanted to learn how to skydive, so he got an instructor
and started taking lessons. The instructor told the redneck to jump
out of the plane and pull his ripcord. The instructor then
explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that
they would go down together. The redneck understood and was
ready.
The time came for the redneck to jump out of the airplane. The
instructor reminded the redneck that he would be right behind him.
The redneck proceeded to jump from the plane, and after being in
the air for a few seconds he pulled the ripcord. The instructor
followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his
ripcord, but the parachute did not open. The instructor,
frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the
redneck.
The redneck, seeing this, yelled as he undid the straps to his
parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?
