Your last name stays put.
Your last name changes only if you want too
The garage is all yours.
Yeah. Especially when you get kicked out of the bedroom
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Sure, there is the wedding planner. The guy will pick up
the bill
Chocolate is just another snack.
They say chocolate can be better than sex 
You can be President.
Who wants to be President. You age quickly
You can never be pregnant.
It is a choice these days
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
There is something called wearing a swim suit
under
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
It's ok, I dun wanna get sun-burnt and complain and whine
like a baby later
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
And embarress him if he tells a lie
The world is your urinal.
Erhmm.... why do you wanna act like a dog?
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because
this one is just too icky.
It's ok, we have stronger bladders
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
You mean people actually stop and think 
Same work, more pay.
It's ok. Your pay is ultimately ours
Wrinkles add character.
Sure~ It's ok to lie to yourself and make yourself happy
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
Does it matter? You're paying for it anyway
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
People don't look down to see if our fly is open
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Though it just confirms that you are a disgusting bastard
New shoes that don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Well we can choose to or not to
One mood all the time.
These days, it's really no longer applicable to
guys
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
That is why gusy get emotionally affected for a longer
period of time
You know stuff about tanks.
Does it make me any smarter, wiser, richer etc to know
about tanks?
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Agree! But I come home with 3
You can open all your own jars.
There is something called a jar opener
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
These days, I think it's expected or you're just
insensitive creep
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
friend.
Actually this applies to most girls as well
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
No longer applicable these days too
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Not with the new males these days
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
I dunno...these days guys seem to be more fanatical about
ironing stuff like girls
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Unless you have a secret hobby
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Not anymore unless you're a bloke
You only have to shave your face and neck.
Trends are changing
You can play with toys all your life.
So can girls. They just get new toys
like that funky interchangable diamond jewellery set
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
That's supposed to be better?
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
I don't know about that these days
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
Why do we have male manicures these days?
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
If you want food bits to get stuck to your mouth and
prevent girls from kissing you... sure 
