elindra SG I would believe that there are people who are extremely close to their relatives. Personally, I share so-so relationships with mine. Relatively close to my cousins but not to my aunts and uncles. I'm writing this because my dad told me that my uncle complained that ever since I got married, I have not called upon them It is like such a huge issue that I no longer treat them as family since I got married as I didn't call. My point is that even before I got married, I've never once made a phone call to them before so why is this an issue now? Anyway, had a few sms exchanges with my dad and I was wondering if I was being a tad mean and bitchy in my replies Well, it's not directed at my dad though but I did say some nasty things. The jist of it in the end is they can think what they want and they can cry about how mean their niece is when they didn't even care at all in the beginning. I can't bring myself to be 'nice' and just call to say Hi when I have nothing to talk to them about. I think maybe because I'm still pissed off at them on how they reacted when I said I'm going to marry my SO. In that sense I am still carrying that emotional baggage and not forgiving them for it.
av98m SG I haven't seen my relatives for so many years I can't even recognise them anymore. And I intend to keep it that way. Yes, I don't like them very much.
browniebaobao SG Not close at all. Father's side got 5 generations. Mother's side got 3 generations. At the most we meet during CNY, if not, we will only meet when everyone has to be around.. eg Funeral. That's really bad, isn't it?
Rhonda SG I like my cousins and a few aunts and uncles. We don't meet often but when we do, I have a good time catching up with my cousins and other relatives. It helps that everyone is polite and mild-mannered and doesn't ask uncomfortable questions, and even if they do, they are kinda asking out of concern and it shows so it's kewl. Now that the wedding fiasco is over and things have settled down somewhat, I even love my sis-in-law! She's actually a nice, easy-going person. There's only an aunt that my family and grandparents dislike, and that's cause she's very money-faced and opportunistic. And oh, an uncle who's way too frank and loud-mouthed, and who makes in-your-face remarks without considering the feelings of the other party. I avoid those two like the plague.
[email protected] SG my relationship is… i have no idea if its good or bad. I don’t meet them much nowadays as im overseas. I don’t really want to meet them because I dunno what they’ll say to the changes I’ve gone thru. But I have a cousin who brings tour groups to Europe and everytime he’s in London we meet up and another who’s coming over to London for a year to do his post-grad. I think they might be more accepting of the chances in me, and I feel that I might not be so isolated from them as I am from the others.
elindra SG I like my relatives from my mum's side of the family They are totally easy-going and non-invasive For my dad's side, I can only say that there are now further conflicts in the relationship after how they opposed and said some pretty shitty things about my SO.
Rhonda SG Hmm... it's hardly a mystery why you'd prefer the relatives on your mom's side rather than those on your dad's side, in your case. There's no pleasing everyone so just let that uncle kpkb lor. I mean, does he expect you two to visit him often after making comments about your SO and your wedding? Ah well, just stick to the nicer peeps!
Rhonda SG I think it's always easier to get along with people who don't impose their judgements on you and who are able to make you feel comfortable being yourself around them.
elindra SG Just feeling frustrated and getting it out of my system. My dad was telling me to forgive and forget and let go of the emotional baggage. Easier said than done! Not when it got to the point where I had to threaten them to shut up
Ah Cek SG no la, chia tork or wedding dinner also can gather around ma. not necesary in funeral or si lang ka lai gather rite?
choco B SG The way you feel about your paternal relatives is fully justified. But it'd be a sad waste if the animosity there caused friction between you and your dad.
elindra SG Nay it won't cause friction between me and my dad. We're too close for that, just feeling abit bad that I think I might have been too strong in my words to him about them.
choco B SG Yeah. He can't help but feel bad & awkward about it, after all he's spent the first half of his life with his family and brothers and sisters, there will always be some sentiment for them.
ShrodingersCat SG Hmm ya i dont get along very well with some relatives but as I grew older, I also grew more tolerant of them. I am very much closer to my mother's side - specifically with my grandma and my youngest auntie who is not married. Love them to bits! I think the complaint ur uncle made... just trying to explain it. I think what happened is when you got married, you form your own family unit. Such that, previously even if you dont contact uncle, it is okay if head of your family unit (i.e. mum or dad) contacts him. However, once u have gotten married, it is no longer enough for mum and dad to make contact. -scratch head- at least this is how I feel ba... with my relatives.
Rhonda SG elindra... *tap-taps your shoulder... I think the topic is worded salah leh! "What is your r/ship?" will yield answers like, "Oh, she is my aunt!" I think it should have been "How is your relationship blah blah..." *piaks forehead. I think all of us didnt' realise it until now!
elindra SG Sorry la It's not easy to snake in here while your boss is breathing down your back Like I said before, you can always spot mistakes in my posts and I always have to come back to edit it. I can't change the title though.
