A jock and a geek applying for the same job.
The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get
this job."
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who
the boss chose. "Well," he said, "Both of you got the same score
except I'm going to choose the geek."
The jock complained, "Don't you think that's prejudice or
something?"
"Well," the boss said, "Let me tell you what happened. Both of your
papers were right all the way through until the last question came
up, and the geek answered 'I don't know,' and then when I looked at
your paper, you answered, 'Me either'.
=======================================================
A British Man, a French man, and an American man are on a safari in
Africa, and they are taken prisoner by a savage group of villagers.
As they're being brought to the village, they are told that death
was their only option, however, they each had their choice of the
method they would use to kill themselves. The British man requested
a pistol, and cried out "Long live the queen!" as he blew his
brains out. The two others watched in horror as the savages flayed
the man and made his skin into a canoe. The French man was next,
and he requested a Saber. "Vive le France" was what he cried out as
he disemboweled himself. The American guy watched again what they
did with his body, as they made his skin into a canoe. The last
guy, the American guy requested a fork in which to kill himself. As
soon as it was handed to him, he started stabbing himself violently
as he screamed "So much for your fucking canoe!"
=======================================================
President Bill Clinton called Jean Chretien with a pressing
emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President
cried, "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true
disaster!" "Bill, da Canajian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing
wit'in der power to 'elp you," replied the Prime Minister. "I do
need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send us
1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Certainement! I will get on hit right haway." said Jean.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said President Bill.
"Oui?"
"Could the condoms be red, white and blue, and at least 10" long
and 4" in diameter?" asked Clinton.
"No prob'lem," replied the Prime Minister, and with that, Chretien
hung up and called the president of Trojan.
"I need a favor. You got to make 1,000,000 condoms right haway, an
sen'em to Hamerica."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen mon ami. Dey haf to be bleu, blanc 'n rouge in
color; hat least 10 hinches long, and 4 hinches in dia'
meter."
"That's easily done. Anything else?"
"Yes," said the Prime Minister, "an print on dem MADE IN CANADA,
size: MEDIUM."
